Dreams

#3. BAD DAYS: The ultimate disaster

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pexels-photo-720362Some days you wake up and you just know that it’s gonna be a bad day. Its like you open your eyes and see these bad vibes marching all around you. Sometimes you can sense this even before you open your eyes .Gathering all your energy you sit up and push yourself out of your bed. You press the toothpaste  tube and too much of it comes out ,more on your hands than on the brush and that’s when you know that the whole day is gonna be a disaster !!

Red top with the half‌ sleeves..meh..blue one without the sleeves ..too ugly. Denim one. ain’t working..Why can’t I look like a normal human being in any of these outfits is the next worry …Then you look in the mirror and see a scarecrow staring back at you ..frizzy haired with beautiful dark circles that could beat even Saturn .Just when you think things couldn’t get any more worse you notice the four perfectly round bright red pimples

Ok this is all too much ..you think to yourself. Maybe you should just skip college? After all home is the only place where you can look like a banshee and still feel like a model. But is it too much to ask for my attendance to match my mood? Well apparently it is because my attendance was far below 75% which was the minimum requirement! Now I am just narrating my version of bad days!

‌The reasons for a bad day might range from an upset parent ,a moody bestie ,a bad hair day, a flunked exam or a missed alarm ..We all have our stories of bad days .The reason for our bad days vary but the effect of it remains the same everywhere. But the important thing to note is that like all previous bad days this one too will pass in a matter of some 24 hours .Plus you have survived some really bad ones before so it’s gonna be a piece of cake for you. All you have to do is think of the many more happy days that are yet to come .If that doesn’t do the trick then put on some pajamas and lock yourself in a room with the following apparatus. Some really good books (or movie if you are a movie person), chocolates, chips and juice .I don’t know what you guys think but I always feel that giving it some quality “me time” helps. Of course shutting yourself away from others is not always a good idea but you cannot deny that it gives you a sense of comfort and reassurance that you are gonna be okay.Add a long shower to this and you are back to normal. Well not completely but you know ..almost!

But you know what else helps.? Your attitude towards it.One time I had a bad day and spent the whole of it moping around and complaining and snapping at anyone within a fifty mile radius but at the end of the day it was I who suffered more than anyone else .So I decided to take a better attitude towards it ..I know bad stuff is gonna happen so why not be prepared for it .For most people listening to your jam has a soothening effect and it actually helps you to behave better cordially towards your fellow mates. There are tons of other ways too but it is you who should sit back and find ways that’ll make your bad day a lil less bad. After all you cannot make people around you suffer just because you are going through a bad day right!?

But inspite of all this, you do deserve the right to complain a bit. Why would bad days exist in the first place if it weren’t to give a platform to bring out that cranky demon that dwells in your body! And yea to measure the rate of loyalty of your besties too! If your bestie hasn’t bade you sweet bye even after a number of nasty day episodes then stick to her like sticky honey ( well I would have said super glue if only you weren’t such a sweet soul)! ‘Coz that’s when‌ you know that what you have is for life

Another problem with these bad days is that you end up hating your life. You look around and see perfect people with their perfect hair and perfect complexion living their perfect lives and that makes you wonder why you are so messed up! And honestly it’s depressing. The more you think about it the more depressing it gets. I know because I have experienced similar instances of bad day attacks that made me think how good it would be to live as someone else and not as Linnet Philip. Someone who isn’t so messed up ..someone who has everything in control. And someone whom everyone look up to. But these feelings ,no matter how intense they are doesn’t last for that long.Once you get back to your normal self you realise that things aren’t as bad as you thought and that you are gonna be fine. Okay so your life isn’t picture perfect or anything but it’s still worth its imperfections. You have people who love you, the imperfect you ! You have people who haven’t moved by your side all these years and you have people who make me smile every single day. Little things like your friend getting you your favorite chocolate or your mom getting you a cute top that she thought would look good on you or a really long talk with someone who matters to you is all what is takes for you to fall in love with your life all over again. And after being back to your normal self you wonder about all the drama you kicked up only a day or two before. Like was there even any need to be this upset about it .! Honest answer..No..but that’s the thing about bad days .You cannot think rationally while you are at it and once the whole thing’s over you are left to mull over all your doings thinking who the heck took over your personality !

These bad days brings out the bipolar nature in us. We go from happy happy to moppy moppy in a matter of seconds .But we shouldn’t let that get the best of us.We all have our own portions of bad days that we must drink and while we may not be in control of our lives all the time,  we certainly have a role in not getting it out of control. So the next time you experience a bad day,instead of freaking out and blaming yourself later ,take a deep breath and say to yourself “I got this!!” And voila your bad days turn into the best learning platforms of your life making you a much stronger person than you were yesterday!

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‌This is my very first blog and you guys are my very first audience. And I am as clueless as it gets about this whole thing.Without your support I’ll remain as clueless as I am now. What I would really appreciate is if you could notify me on your views and comments about my writings. I value your opinions a lot and I am positive that your criticisms and guidance will help me be a better blogger! And thank you guys for all the support ❤❤

Written by CHIRI

The Phase

cyclist-3202481_1280Lazing around in summer bliss,
Soaking up the sun and loving the breeze
I walked around in perfect glee,
Loving my life just as it is.

Then I saw you for the first time,
Answered you in a single word
But that would never have been the case,
If I knew you would cause me sleepless nights

Hand in hand, I walked with my friends,
Raised my head and saw you ahead
stared at you for some seconds longer,
But never once did you glance my way

Walking around in a virtual maze,
Many a times, we were inches apart
A word or two to fill the gap,
Feeling nothing but perfect ease

Dusk gave way to a starry night,
Joy and laughter filled the air
We boasted to stay up the whole night,
But our droopy eyes said otherwise

Seven suns ,seven moons later
My heart still misses a beat
And then the races to catch up
At the mere mention of your name

I looked back and go teary eyed,
If only I could have done a bit more
Laughed a bit more, joked a bit more,
Smiled at you a bit more.

Poem by CHIRI

#2. Not By Name

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WhatsApp Image 2018-03-30 at 11.39.58You leaned over displacing your elbows on the desk acting as a cushion for your head to rest. You are in the middle of a lecture just staring at the big blackboard where the professor scribbles some important economics formulas that gives you the creeps, just extremely tired and bored of taking down notes yet struggling to listen and you glance at your watch to see how long for the class to end. Then suddenly, you hear an indefinite scream from outside. A sudden rumble and notice the whole classroom is shaking wildly, everyone is freaking out and you could hear things are just falling apart, chaos everywhere. You see tress from the windows collapsing and everyone startles from their seats trying to figure out what on earth is going on. But then the unexpected happened, a flood of brownish black water have taken a sudden toll into your classroom and you can notice everything around you just coiling at a force towards, a few of your friends have ran for their life through the back exit whereas many unfortunate colleagues being swallowed by the darkness of the tsunami right in front of your eye and your survival instinct kicks in and without thinking twice, you jump on a broken door partially floating, holding your balance and trying to fight your way in open light, still struggling to hold on, kneeing in the middle and having that strong grip firmly on the door knob ,you make yourself to the open waters. You see your best friend calling out your name as he is trapped in the cluster of debris in the corner of the open stairs, you scream as loud as you can “give me your hand”, feeling like a hero and your friend stretches his arms wide till he has got a good grip on my reach and he looked in joy and said “JOSHUA, WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INDIVIDUAL DEMAND AND MARKET DEMAND”. Huh!!!!!!!

Your friend shoves you from under the desk. You stumble back to reality and see your economics professor having a cold dead stare at you and you look around the class and everyone is looking at you. And you suddenly start to recite this mantra for no reason that you know is fake “please not my name, not today again” For a brief second, you take the time to process where to zoned out to, “did I just literally dream about a tsunami hitting the class and how I manged to survive it” and my silence is broken by the harsh voice of the teacher

Joshua, stand up!!, said the professor and your body reflex takes over and you are up in a sudden puff ready for a dozen of dreadful scolding. “Do I have to repeat myself” and in the softest most innocent expression possible, you say, “No Sir” and before even you could even reply, you hit the brain-dead mode already.

Let me just clarify, what do I mean by brain dead? Our brains are like a huge factory inside our head and the people, who biologist call as brain cells, but I call them as brain workers, tend to operate your physical and mental activities of your body. These workers feed the core of the brain known as the brain furnace so that your daily life keeps going on and power is generated equally throughout your body. So, me being a scary-cat/introvert have reality issues. When someone asks me an oral question of something I have never heard off, the whole factory inside my head starts to malfunction and those brain workers have to put extra coal into the core furnace just to face the terrible situation and give him the answer that he expects you to give but if your brain furnace tends to have a outburst, the commander inside your brain sends off an alarm inside your brain that goes to into lockdown protocol and you face brain-dead mode.
Yes, I have a weird imagination. I know!
In simple interpretation, I was scared to give an answer and fear took over my body. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself and give the dumbest response possible. So, I chose silence over my guesses.

If you are like me, you need to demonstrate your innocence in this situation.
First rule, don’t stare at your professor eyes because that triggers them. The more you look at them, the longer you will get your feedback. You need to let him know he is in control
In the meantime, stare at his shoe and admire the brand that he has worn and appreciate the little things in life.

Second rule, don’t completely ignore him, that would anger him even more because you need to give me the respect he deserves. So, look at this eyes for 5 seconds and the for the next 2 mins, keep staring at his shoe and then back at his eye and don’t forget to keep nodding and mimic your mouth “Yes, sir” but be stealthy as possible. Okay, I just realized I give the worst advice ever. Please don’t practices them. You will end up like me……………………. happy!!!

The feedback I get is usually the same, but I never complain, it goes like this. “I know you weren’t paying attention in class, your mindset is somewhere else, and you are still teenagers and you like to dream a lot. I understand you are interested in the opposite sex and you dream about them” Inside your head you argue to yourself.” Are you kidding me, I just dreamt of a tsunami hitting this class and how I only managed to survive, and you just concluded that I was getting involved in an affair just because I zoned out of your class. How is that even possible? And he goes on “you are in this classroom to study and these all thoughts can wait, first focus in class, finish your studies and then think of all the dreams you want to have. This is not the first time I have caught you for the same reason!!
You feel embarrassed to your toes and you hear your friends giggling in the background and you wonder “Well, another terrible memory no one is gonna forget” and without a word you keep standing in front of the whole class and you could feel that emptiness in the world since you are the only one standing among the privileged .You have hit the breakeven point where you just wished you could have skipped this day and you feel numb and sorrowful, pity to the heart, just drowning in your own tears of thought and just looking at the teacher in grief once more for making you the clown of the class.

Probably, right now, you would feel sorry for me and expect he would let you sit down and continue his class but……………. he does the unexpected thing I wouldn’t even think of.

You put his book down and adjust his glasses glanced directly at me. “I have seen your answer sheets before and the way you present your answers in the sheet. I am aware you are actually good at what you do, and you are one of those potential students that can attain a 100% in economics and I still believe you can, But all I need from you is your attention, be in class and study your daily portion and I am sure you will reach that goal and achieve a bright future. May be you won’t realize this now and think I am joking but I still believe in you”

Could you imagine the reaction I would have felt in that situation!! That first, I thought he was drunk because how is it possible to change your viewpoint in matter of seconds and I was still in this state of disbelief and questioning myself. “did I just get a compliment, is this even possible! You start looking at him in his eye with sigh of innocence and everyone eyes are still on you. Like as if you turned from the villain of the play to the hero.

He picked up his book and he told me in his kindest gesture to sit down. I was back in the comfort of my seat, staring at my course material and replaying the whole scenario like as if this one of those magical moment in my school life. Then, you hear the school bell ring off, which was every student`s favourite sound and you could hear a swam of hungry students just rushing their ways to the cafeteria .But he was still in class and he swept his eyes around the class in a flash and said in his professional tone over the noise generated outside “I want all of you to study chapter 3 and come to class next day. You will have a class test on Friday. That’s all. Thank you!
He gently opened the door and was on his way out already absorbed in the crowd of humans. I sat there for another minute just to accept the fact this has happened, and I always thought he considered me as that kid who wasn’t worthy in his “good student list”
And, honestly, he was the only teacher who has had an issue with me because I zoned out in his class most the time and he basically caught me eight times.
Do you know why I keep count, because he is the only person in my whole life who keeps getting me into trouble for not paying attention in his class.

A part of me is still scared of him even today whereas the other still adored him. He was kinda right, I managed to get a 96% in economics in my finals and even though, I never payed attention in class and zoned out most of the time. My motivation grew from him because he believed in something that I thought I was never good at and that’s what makes him a special teacher in my life

Although you wanted nothing more than to get away from them back in your school days, you find yourself missing them while you’re attending the lecturer of some professor who doesn’t even know your name. They showered you with all the unwanted attention in the world which bothered you like crazy, but you find yourself smiling like an idiot just thinking about it now. Sometimes I narrate the stories of my chivalric bravery and narrow escapes to my college mates and even while we’re all laughing about it I sense this dull ache that simple refuses to go away. I guess even if I daydream or zone out in a million more lectures I’ll never feel that sense of carefree happiness because getting into trouble was what made it special. I simply refuse to believe that I am not getting those days back.

Written by DOCHI

#1. Morning Drench

WhatsApp Image 2018-05-23 at 12.18.06

It’s odd to find the title of a blog “Morning Drench”. Isn’t it? Could it be the morning rain that drenches the mood of the day and you start finding every reason why you should have just stayed in bed and skipped a day by sleeping a bit longer.
Ha-ha, close enough but this is about the quite lonely introverts/dreamers. Well, Morning Drench is a term I developed to refer to the morning struggle that we introvert/dreamers have every morning and we feel drenched inside by the end even though it doesn’t rain. Just thinking of fact that having to go outside and back to class, makes me want to sleep again.

The day obviously starts with you setting up alarm literally every 5 minutes just to get up from 6.45 am to 7.45 am which is equivalent to 12 alarms. I mean, what on earth is wrong with us. Yes, I agree. We love sleep, to us, its our escape to somewhere favorable but I just don’t understand the logic that we partially get up, jab the alarm and then “Oh, let me go back to sleep and just continue my dream where I was surfing on a pizza on the beaches of Maldives” and fall back to sleep. Our minds keep rebooting in the morning till we come to our sense, and you wake up in this sudden panic around 7.22

That body drag from the bed to the bathroom is like moving through a mushy swamp since your eyes are blurry and you feel kind of out of posture. With that gloomy face feeling a bit sticky due to the aftermath of your sweet sleep, you look at the mirror and think “Oh god, if I go outside looking like this, the teacher would probably ask me my name thinking that I am a new comer.” But the brain sends this shock-wave, “no time to waste” and you garb you phone, put your favorite playlist running and get into that hype mood. How odd is it that we feel life moves faster and your body is in complete motion of activities because the music keeps playing that swirls up my every cell on your body into action!

But being a dreamer ,music can be your drug .We keep listening to our favorite music where we eventually end up fantasizing how you become part of the music video and have like background dances, various cliche moments that you sigh to the love of your life and how cool and famous you are in the situation, like only once the music is done, you are back at the sink staring at the mirror, saying “not again”, wasted my prep time and you jump into the shower but the music is still running. Ever wondered how we end up becoming amazing dancer with those hot moves under the shower but we literally can’t dance at all in outside world. I mean the shower is just our private shower party with music and yourself and you feel like not leaving the shower at all. It’s the only place you can show your hidden karaoke plus dance skills without being judged.

“But obviously, the warning alarm breaks the mood and makes you check back to reality that you are late. That moment of realization is just a total struggle, your body and your mind begin to working independently, like your body is doing the work of getting you changed up, combing your hair, packing your bags and school material and book your way out of this mess you have created whereas your mind is thinking the logic of the situation like as if it were a general board meeting taking an important decision. Okay, I wasted 20 minutes of my life and I might miss the bus, but if I skip breakfast ,I can make it to the station a minute before the early bus arrives and get to class 20 mins before the lecture begins but this means I have no time to clean my room, therefore, causing a dispute with my mom by evening but what if I don’t take the bus and ask my mom to drive me class but will cause a time delay since my mom has to pack the lunchbox for my siblings yet I can meet the needs of both my mom and the practical situation but as a consequences, I wouldn’t have the time in school to recheck my assignments with my colleagues before handing it over and might lose a few good marks and maybe, even a good grade ” This internal debate inside your head is just a lot to bare and you take the alternative without thinking , you walk to school taking the shortcut but you would be late by 5 mins, ha-ha, great .now ,we have to skip breakfast, run away from our problems as always and go on power-saving mode. Why are our morning decision so dumb I wonder?

And then ,you put on headphones, tilt your head downwards facing the walking path and start listening to your playlist all over again that you don’t realize that you are in auto-pilot mode where you are moving forward ignoring the by-passer and back to your fantasy world ,where you get the best grades of the class and your lecturer bragging about how excellent your work is and what kind of outstanding merit you deserve but you come back to reality only when you almost hit a pole or you were in the way of a by-passer or an angry driver inside a car honks at you. You look at the time and realized the bitter fact that when you were in auto-pilot mode that you end up walking slower than your usual pace that a few by-passer were overtaking you because you were busy daydreaming your life. How pathetic can your morning be.

You reach your campus and glance one more time at your wrist to see the time, “10 minutes late”, your heart whispers in comfort, “chill, probably the teacher would be late as well. You still can make it on time”. Walking through the empty corridor where you could hear the echoes of the seminars going on in different lecture halls and you find yourself in this awkward state of walking super-fast so people don’t notice you being late. By the time you find yourself in front of the door of troubles which is your assigned lecture hall closed, you accept the fact you are late.

Well, usually if you are late to a lecture, you quietly enter the class and sit at the back of the class without disturbing the lecture going on and therefore avoid an embarrassing episode to your life. That’s the universal unspoken law for the latecomers.
But you really think life is gonna be kind to you. Well, if you are a dreamer/introvert just be aware that nothing usually goes as expected.
Back to where you are outside the class, you slowly open the door, avoid eye contact with the lecturer and glance at the first person sitting on first row. “OH, it’s the usual first bencher”, you would be relieved to accept that you are in the right class. Just imagine you ended up in the wrong lecture hall with a bunch of random students, trust me, you would feel like locking yourself in the bathroom and camping there for the day due to such an embarrassment.

Now to the truth, firstly, as human being, we are all just lazy and hate moving, therefore, expect that your peers will occupy the side of the class which is closer to the door and secondly, the first two rows of the class would be taken by those studious, determined, hardworking, honest and fruitful mates whereas the last two rows are meant for those prankster, class jokers and gossip stars, the fun kind of people and those who like to make chaos and so, you find to grab your seat somewhere in the middle where the normal people who come to class because its required and just chill till the time runs out to enjoy the rest of the day.

Knowing these conditions, you need to take 180° walk all around the class to find the abandoned seat which is away from the door but slightly centred. Think of making that walk with your classmates staring at you and you could hear their thoughts scream “You Are Late” and you shiver your way to your targeted seat. You sit and discovery this peace, “finally made it”, inside you and you stare at what your peers are doing. Without wasting time, you dash out all the materials you need for the class and come to the bitter fact, you forgot your course-books back home. You sit there in a moment of silence ,staring at the reflection of yourself on the black screen of your laptop feeling drenched, going through these episodes of troubles and you grasp out in despair with a mood less face “could this day get any worse?” and do exactly what you always have been doing right from the start, you zone out.

Pretty much my morning in a nutshell but this is what happens when you don’t control your imagination and thoughts and its natural to experience this but if you always get yourself into trouble because of daydream, don’t be afraid.
You are not alone.”

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Thank you for reading my first ever blog/narrative story. I know this seems different from other blogs, but my motives are to keep you entertained by stepping into the world where we dreamers/introverts deal with basic situation. Feel free to give me feedback and my pro/cons since its my first time in such an exposure towards bloglife and I need all the help I can get

Written by DOCHI