#16. Travel my Escape

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Have you noticed that some people work so hard and save up a lot to travel? Why is travelling the new hype? I can see that travelling really can crave a big hole in your wallet and right from stepping into an aeroplane and back, you are using up everything so quickly that you sometimes don’t notice it.

But travelling is my escape. Yes, its an expensive one but the reason I travel is not because of the thrill for it, in another country, you require a restart in your way in life. The food you eat, the people you meet, the things you do and the history you learn is different from home. Travelling lets you become a new person and its important to break down your shell and let yourself experience what the world beyond your reach has to offer.

I really got into travelling after having an emotional breakdown at 2018 but ever since I started travelling, I came back with more stories to say, more things to do and more reason to perform. Last few months, I went to Iceland, Germany, Italy, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Hungary and Portugal. I am a nature enthusiast and the thrill to find the beauty of what mother nature offers gives me the strength and confidence to keep pushing my boundaries. The goal is not to impress but sometimes, its important to find and live in the moment.

It’s a reward you deserve. Well, you know the saying “You only live Once”, the world is too big to explore but we all run by a sand clock that keeps drawing down the sand grains until everything become to late. I don’t mean to tell you to give up and start travelling. My intention is to help you find purpose while travelling. Like for example, if you were going to an unhappy state of mind. You need to let yourself go from home and jump into the world of uncertainty and curiosity. Through this way, you start picking up the puzzles and figuring out what defines you and find your reasons to smile.

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Here is something I want to add, when you travel. Let go of your past. Grab yourself a map from the tourist office and navigate yourself through the city. There is a saying “In order to reconnect, you need to disconnect”. My point is that you need to let go of what holds you back. When you let yourself into the devils of distraction, you miss the good stuff that the place has to offer. You encounter good as well as bad people. But the goal here is to learn to adapt. You are no longer a kid but a mature adult that needs to go through hurdles of difficulties such as language barrier, culture shock, misinterpretation and confusion. But learning to accept them is all part of the travel experience.

The city / place welcomes you but its your responsibility to integrate yourself with the what welcomed you. As you are aware, that we humans are learning oriented being that is backed up by learning and experience curves. Let me tell you honestly, at 2016, I went to Paris and it was awful. I had no plan, no idea, I had so much fear and I was in total confusion. My experience was bad because it was my first time and I thought it would be easy to navigate using a Paris Card. Oh, boy. I was wrong. Paris has been the city I lost against and I feel like I could have done better. It was my first time and I didn’t trust myself travelling but I did, and I failed. I wanted to give up and not try again. But that’s when I knew that failing is just another reason to try again. Paris is still one place I will go again and explore properly. I know it’s a beautiful city and called the City of Love, but I never made amends with the city itself.

That’s when I promised myself that every city I go, I will plan, think strategy and do it better than the previous city. And that has been my learning curve, I let myself have bad experience, I let myself fail, I let myself lose money because I wanted to have a positive outlook towards travelling. I keep recording my flaws and mistakes and I look at ways to improve. That’s my thrill of travel.

Now, here is a deadlock. Travelling alone. I did it but its doable but the flaw I see in travelling alone is the will to express. I enjoy travelling with a friend or a family relative because when you are both put in a new environment, your thoughts and action vary from that of your co-traveller and the freedom to express is what makes it fun. Like for example, when travelling with my friend through Dublin, we went restaurant hopping which was so much fun, I tried the Irish and English traditional meals to which I compared them with my familiar Bavarian / Austrian meals that I normally eat. We also talked to each other about the authenticity of the cuisine that we are experience and there was so much sharing of knowledge. Travelling gives you the luxury to compare and being critics of your own word. You have a lot to notice, understand and discover. Travelling alone is not bad, it’s a lot of freedom and quite more adventures. You are own your own and I am sure many backpackers are solo travelers that tour around an area for a very long time and get involved immensely with their surroundings.

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My favorite part is the when I scroll through the city during the night. The city comes alive at night, and I know we have clubs, pubs and open events everywhere and I do attend them once a while but what I actually like the most is watching the stars. I sometimes take the time to see how the stars look above me and how we all share the same sky of stars. The sky of stars gives me so much memories. Like the most important people I met in my life, the people that I can consider as game-changers and the ones that were there in the good and bad times, we all sometimes just stared at the stars,  during our fine moments before departure and talked about what the future of life holds for us. And every time I look above, I recollect my thoughts and tell myself the sky of memories that keeps the city night alive and motivates me to keep discovering.

I want to end this blog of to the ones that don’t have to proposition to travel because of various reason. You don’t have to go to the country to find yourself or save up money for a lovely trip. All you need to do is discover your own locality. Let yourself explore the far side of the unknown within your place. Go to the places or the towns near you that you normally wouldn’t go to. Take a change to do a camp in the nearest campsite. Try out a new cuisine that you have never tried before, let your heart find the interest in newness. That’s how I feel in love with nature. I let myself get lost in the forest behind my house in Switzerland and always took the effort to find myself back home by evening. Try out a new recipe of a culture you have been always interested in, try cooking it and see how it turns. I know travelling is defined as an object or a person moving from one place to another through a means. Well, redefine your definition of what travelling is to you. Travelling to me is letting myself go from my comfort bubble and transit myself to another culture/foreign environment that allows me to rebuild my foundation of my understanding/perspective in life. So, I will leave you with this note.

What is travelling to you?

Written by Dochi

#13 Dreams that Hurt

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“I don’t think you are good enough for it, don’t raise your hand.”, “you shouldn’t be wearing this outfit, you don’t want people to know what you look like beneath” “you couldn’t possible step up and deal with haters, so don’t bother?” “you know what happened when you what happens when you get too close” – those voices of pain of the past.

Ever just sat there in a moment of ordinary, that you zone out to the flashbacks of nightmares. Those chapters that you try to hide away from your life that you labelled as mistakes. The ones that still haunt your past and elements of dark memories that rashes your present. That’s when you know, you are having a dream that hurts.

As humans, we aren’t perfect, and we all had episodes in life where we mishandled life situations, you took it the wrong route and you lost a part of yourself during the process. Those flashbacks haunt you because you don’t want to be that person anymore and you try to change to your very best version of yourself. I try to be as positive as possible but sometimes, I just break down by remembering those glimpses of the past where things have gone wrong and those voice talk, they aren’t from the heart neither from the head, these are the voice of the past. The ones that hold you by the grip and walk beside you, but in your eyes, they are oblivion.

There are days , I would stare at the mirror and look at myself really hard and feel like the past is all piling up again, that sense of loneliness, knowing you have a voice that you never use, yourself being judged for the way you appear and you build a character of a baggy outfit and you wear a cap to avoid eye-contact and existence itself. Realizing you don’t take photos of yourself because you forgot how to love yourself again and you glance in the sky, thinking if the past was part of me now and can I overcome this dream.

Every past has good memories and unfortunate mistakes. Such as you short-temperament, or an selfish act over a benefit, an misleading conquest over possession, lie for a win, betrayal and the list goes on. I know as humans, we wouldn’t want to admit our faults but deep down, you know we aren’t pure as we say. Why does the past decides to creep in now when you guarded it away as you moved on and believed to be a changed person?

This happens when you feel lost, when you are away of your comfort zone, when you feel that the everyone is on the train destined to achieve something great, but you feel left behind or you are driving your fate without knowing what direction you want to drive through. That’s when those dreams that hurt creep into your mind and whisper the voices that drenches your meaning. I know that feeling exactly because being a daydreamer, zoning out becomes part of your life and you just accept it. whether it brings you to happy places or sad memories, there is really no remedy to cure those dreams. A part of this is to fight it, and that’s what I try to do and that doesn’t mean eliminating your past, I mean to prove to myself of past that i have changed and I am a better person than I was before.

I can’t guarantee if I was able to convey the message perfectly because even when I write this, I have voices that say “Words are just mere Words” but to the people that fight with their past and find it difficult to talk or convey your emotions to others because you yourself are lost and don’t know if it would be silly bring the dark thoughts of the past into the present. I must say, its good to let it out, you can’t let it hide in your forever, you are in control of your life and you need to build the future that you dream to see yourself in.

The best way I overcome this issue of black memories is to remind myself of the good and appreciate the people that look out to you for the true person they see you as. My best help was a SLAM BOOK and those birthday cards and friendship collages, mostly importantly anything that signifies happiness. While I am reading my slam-book, or I reread all the comments on my work, or when I look through my history. I see the good shy me, always finding a reason to smile. And I smiled because at that very moment because, I felt like I changed for the best and everyone saw me the way you wanted to be seen. And now I say, I want to bring that smile back in me.

My slam book is filled with words of positivity and actions that I left unnoticed, but people took into account, yet, they didn’t tell me at that moment. My friends, parents and teachers saw the good in me, they supported me because they believed in me. I wasn’t afraid anymore because I didn’t feel like falling backwards anymore. Those are dreams that smile, that give to a reason to keep looking forward and not let anything get your way.  Because the moment you let yourself down, you start digging your own pit of sadness and trust me, I have dug a tombstone of problems myself. But it always took me to rely on the good things to remind me that your dreams of smile are stronger medicine than the dreams that hurt. Let not your dreams of hurt consume you, learn from it and build over it. that’s how you create your dreams of smiles.

#10. Creating your own Happiness

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If you could measure happiness, how happy are you today? Do you need people to make you happy or does money bring happiness to you? Ever thought, how would life be if you could create your own happy place, somewhere far from the judged world, truly being yourself and most importantly making happy memories.

Let me share you something of me, I don’t have the finance to travel often, neither do I have the whole school of friends to cheer me up. I am neither a drinker so bars and pubs really don’t catch my taste. But does these material objects determine my happiness. Honestly, we all live in a world of scarcity where we cannot have anything we desire. But with the things you have, you can always create your own happiness. So, I wanted to dedicate this blog to everyone looking for happiness.

Try out new things:
Let me start of by suggesting everyone to create your own happiness through finding the true artist in you. To be honest, I started blogging because I wanted to see how it would feel like being a blogger and later quit since its time-consuming. But later did I realize that I finally found a source through which I can meet new people, learn new things and have fun. Somewhere, I can truly be myself and I am extremely glad , doing something  I love. That’s the point of trying new things such as learning a new sport, exploring and even simple things like buying your own Aquarian and breeding fishes as pets. You will never know what you are missing unless you face it.

Socializing & refining your world:
Always be willing to refine your world with new people and practices. When I joined in Twitter, I looked at it as a world of strangers and I felt odd because I never knew no one. The first thing I searched was blogger and it’s been 2 months in Twitter and I have never met so many interesting people with the same passion in a short period of time. Moreover, even in my real life, being friends with different people from different nationalities gave me so many insights about life, culture and doing things together, this just opened a window of multiple possibilities of seeing the world differently. You will never realize how crazy the world is until you experience it.

Family orientation:
One of the greatest happiness I create is just by being with my family. Like even though me and my siblings have contrasting behaviors, its always interesting to hear their side of life. What they are going through? And how did you go through it in their age? These stirs good memories of childhood with humor and crazy stupidity you have done in your life. When I am back home, me & my sister go shopping together and to be honest, it’s a horrible experience for me but at the same time it’s fun because my sister tells me to try out so many outfits that she feels that suits me and we start to have a fashion debate on what’s terrible and what’s good. Also take time to appreciate what your family does for you and your presence with them is an enhancement of your happiness.

Recreate your knowing:
Let me just admit to the fact that we believe we know a lot about where we grew up that we miss the obvious. Despite living in and around Switzerland & Austria. I could never get enough of everything. there is just do much beauty and adventure in the smallest details that we skip. Me being a nature lover, cycling through different villages in the valleys is always breath-taking. Do things you often don’t do, go outside and have a night walk, how about lying down in heap of cozy grass and just observe the stars and enjoy how the aeroplanes travel above you or climb the slippery steeps of hill behind you. These are just so much basic things in life we can do right at home that we miss. Learn to appreciate every small detail in life and create happiness from it.

Free trade Happiness
Saved the most important point for the last, the best way to create happiness is to trade your happiness with individual who doesn’t. Doing good things to people that don’t have the same privilege as you do gives you immense happiness. I had an incident where a friend of mine had stomach infection and needed to undergo doctor treatment but unfortunately, had an expired insurance card. Knowing that the expenses are beyond her budget, I asked her to use my ID and consider me as her guardian and it felt good to see her recovery quickly and knowing that your role improve someone life. Every action you take needs to be an action of kindness, doing a social work fills the void of knowing someone’s life have been improved through your work. Buying something for your loved ones and seeing them smile at you is pure happiness. The best and simplest way to create happiness for other is to smile. When the world is filled with kindness and compassion, we all enjoy the happiness we deserve, and it comes with no cost.

So, Usually i end the blog with a really strong conclusion or message to carry on for my readers but we want to do it differently, i am gonna leave you with a scenario management question that you can comment down below your answers and lets me how is your version of creating happiness and feel free to see how other readers comments as well. But most importantly, Think from your heart and you will find your answer! HAVE FUN.

Your childhood best friend has gone through a long-term relationship breakup and is in his/her most miserable state. Constantly under depression, given up on life and has been in their room without leaving the apartment for several days already. He/she has lost her appetite and looks very dull and weak & also lost her confidence, he/she doesn’t exist in social media anymore and just switched off her life from the outside world. He/She doesn’t wanna talk to you at the moment and just lost his/her mind and is emotionally broken .

As a responsible childhood best friend who knows him/her very well and promised to be there for each other.Also, to let you know. You are financial broke and have too much pressure in your life as well such as Master thesis, part-time job & family issue ,making yourself a very busy person. The golden question is :

What can you do to save your childhood friend and how are you able to create happiness? What will you prioritize despite such constraints? What can you do as a person who loves and cares for his/her best friend that you promised to stick together? 

N.B: Just answer it generally, you dont have to answers all those questions, they are all one of the same.

Written by DOCHI

 

#8. Stranger at Home: Story of my Life

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Yes., i did look like harry potter.🧐

Before I reveal one of the hardest topics of my life, I want to ask my readers not to feel sorry for me and respect me for who I am today because the path I went through is definitely considered bitter but if I had a choice to change my life, I wouldn’t for I am happier this way.

I came to earth in Vienna, Austria. Yes, I am a brown kid whose origin is Indian, and I was supposed to have an ordinary childhood like everyone else. Be cared your parents, go to kindergarten, attended primary school, have so many friends, do sports, and be late back home. Yep, the fantasy of a perfect childhood in your hometown but the problem here is that it wasn’t my fate.

Around the year 2000, there was a high scarcity of medical staff in Switzerland and job opportunities was open to everyone whose expertise in medicine. Well, you can say that the pay in Switzerland was way better than in Austria, Moreover, both my mom and dad were from the medical field as nurses. My life moved on to Switzerland right after my sister was born. By the age of 3, I was already considered a troubled kid, do stupid things all the time, cause problems and I couldn’t understand how the world worked. My parents were busy in their occupation and taking care of my sister and a newly born brother and it was a very hard time for the family.

But a lot of my relatives where showing concern because I wasn’t reacting like an ordinary 5-year-old boy should be. I had my mouth always open, drooling saliva over the place, I watched TV way to close, I always screamed and fell, spat and broke things. You get the picture. Kindergarten began, and I was hype active. I couldn’t understand what the teacher was saying, and I never said a word. I isolated myself and wasn’t ordinary. I remember, the kindergarten teacher was teaching us how to brush our teeth. My understanding level was so poor that I would put paste on my hair thinking it was shampoo. Despite them trying and demonstrating again and again on how to brush your teeth. I just didn’t understand the concept of brushing.

It was time something needed to be done, my parents were called for an interview in the kindergarten and they requested I needed a psychiatric check from a doctor because she felt I wasn’t fit enough to be among here. My parents denied the acquisition but as per formality, I had a psychiatric check and I had results of an ordinary boy without actual mental issues. But for the safety of the other children, the kindergarten in charge asked my parents to take me to a special school with special aid. My dad was frustrated and lost it, he argued with her for hours until she threw my dad out of the office. I was marked RED, which means I couldn’t go to an ordinary kindergarten like how every kid went to because I was considered odd and needed medical aid.

My parents strongly believed I was fine like every other student. Just not used to the environment, that’s why I was shy and respond to everything oddly. One of the hardest decision as a parent was what they did next. They believed in me and wanted to give me a equivalent future like the rest of the children in this world. So, they decided to send me to a boarding school in Good Shepherd International school, India. They were out of options. I was only 4 years old then, already in boarding school. I still remember my dad dropping me to boarding school and I was a dumb kid, who only knew German and no one in that school spoke German. My dad handed me over to the warden of the hostel and I was still smiling, knowing not that my father is going to leave me here and I would see him next Christmas which was after 4 months.

My dad used to tell me often- he felt really sad, guilty and emotional that he couldn’t sleep. He traveled back to the institute and begged the guards to let him through to see me again but they never did. Think about it, a new country and you only could speak German and no one could understand you, filled with other children like you crying and speaking their own language. I kept saying in German, *when is my dad coming to pick me up? where is he? I want to go home. But I never got a response from any students or teachers for no one understood me. My roll number was 4196, that was my identity. All my clothes, shoes, cosmetics, books and stationary had 4196. They would check the attendance through your number and not by name. You could say that there were so many children in that boarding school that it was hard to keep track of everything. I still refer myself sometimes as 4196 and it stuck along. (no, I wasn’t in jail, it was a boarding school with more than 10,000 children in total)

At some point, I realized this is my new life and I didn’t feel extremely bad since there were many like me. I learned English quickly, studied hard, played sports, made friends and life went on normally. As time fly, so, did my progress. I moved from school to school because of various reasons and I am glad to prove myself that I was ordinary enough.

But a few things stayed, I spend 9 months in boarding school and I saw my parents 3 months in a year and this fate, went on for the next 13 years of my life. To be honest, I spend all my time alone and every problem I faced, I dealt it by myself because I was always on my own. My parents used to call me once in a week because international call were heard to manage and there were fixed allocated time the parents could call. And If they got through it, it would be considered lucky. When I was on my 5th grade, my parents wanted me to come back to Switzerland and continue school life here like how my siblings did. I liked the idea, but I told my parents, I don’t want to go back to Switzerland and I want to finish my school life here till the end. I grew up here, build myself and faced everything on my own that I had a firm mind for I wanted to finish it till the end. And, yes, I did. Came back home with 91%, and with much more confidence and capabilities.

A part of me is still bothered of the fact of being judged too early by a kindergarten teacher that cause my fate like this but on the other hand, she is the reason for all the collective good I was able to discovery in myself. But I must be honest, I feel strange back home. I am not used to be a home kid. I have no experience studying in my room. My entire school life, I studied in a room with 40 other students like me. I don’t have friend either to be honest, just a childhood friend but that’s it. Because i just stayed there for 3 months and there wasn’t much options for me to make friends with other. Switzerland is definitely a strange land to me even though I lived there for 17 years, I feel lonely and I talk to a teddy bear once a while, I am so used to do thing of being myself but when my parents does things for me, I feel somethings odd. I remember questioning my mom why are you so overprotective over me and she did reply, i feel like i haven’t give much love and care to you since you were always away from us.That made my heart melt.These are certain side-effects in me.But I believe its normal for any kid who lives 75% of his life in an enclosed boarding school with no exit to the outside world and then, suddenly move back to actual life

There is still lot of things I need to get used to and I missed out so much in life. For example, I have never went to prom or school-ball in my life and my sister who is 16, has gone to 5 school ball already in two different school. I see my brother play video games every day and raging at the PS4, I look back and think, I haven’t played video games like an ordinary boy and all I do is enjoy watching how my brother plays. My sister is the outgoing type girl who is always roaming in the cities with her friends and I wish I did too. There are these small things I see other people do that is considered totally normal in life but in my eyes, I see it as privilege. Like I said , I am a stranger back home yet figuring out this way through the mist of uncertainty.

If I had a message I could give, it would be not to judge a book by its cover because you wouldn’t  know for your decision can affect a person life and you would be totally be unaware off it. I am a living proof and I turned out to be totally fine. Life is hard, I know but I also wish no one in this world has to go through what I went. It’s true, I had a lost childhood. But I never blame my parents for anything rather I would love them even more for believing and trusting in me even though the world titled me as unfit. Next time you judge someone, think off how much happiness you could create if you support and love him. Be a good human and everyone has their difficulty. Give them time and you will notice they are as equal as you are.

Love your life and create your own happiness. Whatever life throws on you, believe you can make a difference. And you decide your own fate and it is never created on other people’s opinion.

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If I had one wish now. I would wish for a proper birthday. 😊. I am 20 years old and the last time I celebrated a birthday with my family was when I was 6. That’s why I dislike my birthday so much and try to avoid it at any cost because it reminds me of my past of how much i missed everything. Even though i smile , its because i went throw a lot to have the strength to smile. So, go put a smile in someones face😊

Mom and Dad, if you are reading this.

ICH LIEBE DICH VON  GANZEM HERZEN.💚🧡💙.

Written by DOCHI.

#7. War within my Thoughts

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Follow my buddy Lukas @kremstory.

Okay, listen! You have multiple exams within 10 days and you haven’t completed preparing your study notes. But how can I complete it if I have two pending presentation due for the weekend. And what about your finance? you literally spend 35€ glossary shopping twice and you are left with 120€, what are you gonna buy your friend for his birthday and do you have the time for it? What about sports and fitness, you are gaining weight. You need to get your gym mode on. But if I go to the gym, I won’t complete my notes and assignments and how am I supposed to go home if I don’t have sufficient money at the end and do I starve on fruits for meanwhile. What about studying in library rather than your room? Its quiet hear but do I need to walk in the cold? What if I get sick and miss my exams and fail eventually?

Well, I must be honest. This is what literally your mind does to you when you have want to be way too creative and try to keep that problem-solving attitude going. I don’t mean to be discourage  but it’s good to be futuristic and goal oriented, but you need to accept the fact that you are never a perfectionist of your life. You can’t be in the different places doing everything you want and achieving everything you desire. The world doesn’t rotate in the way you want it to be.

Because think about if, you want to go to the gym and study. Well, respect your needs that matter the most. When is your exam? Its is far away and you think you have sufficient time to study, then go to the gym but if you short in time. Don’t hate yourself for not going to gym for a day and rather focus on performing well on what matters you the most currently which is do well for your exam. But are you a kind of person that can multi-task, well. Why not, take your study notes, do your gym routine and take frequent breaks to study and revise. But if you are not, don’t be hard on yourself because everyone is different and don’t be someone else just because they can do more than you but be yourself and go best in what you are doing now.

But my dear readers, if you overthink and fight inside you. Remember don’t feel bad but rather think strategies and fix your problems rather than taking them collectively. Know yourself and deal with problems by diving and conquering it. Take alternatives and know what’s best to do that the moment.

Here are few of my stupid episodes of my overthinking and by the end of it, you would probably conclude how much of a catastrophe I am:

A). MATHS : I remember the times when I had mid-term Maths exam out of 25 and I received just 14 (yeah, not good enough but hey, I am not that stupid) but importantly, I passed. But my math lecturers wanted to help those people that were weak in Maths, so. He asked everyone whose score is 14 and below to attend his special Maths classes after school.🙄Boy , all my best friends weren’t in that range and I used to always over thought “I am part of math failure squad even though I didn’t fail” and considered myself “unfit Maths competence kid”, basically overthinking that I am meant to fail in Maths and this is fate for life Eventually, my mind always failed to see the benefit of it. (I got 85% in my finals. 😅😎, I told you, I am not that dumb) and I am glad that all my friends and teachers boosted my confidence and helped my find my strength before my finals

B). BIRTHDAY : It was my last birthday in India before I exit back home in Switzerland and my life would be locked there forever, so. My last birthday mattered the most and it was so perfect and special with surprise party, gifts, birthday cake, humor and enjoyable moments. But I had this really close friend who really helped me a lot and matter me the most, that decided not to show up on my birthday in spite of everything I have done for her. I was super mad and immediately cut her from my life. In my head, I was overthinking that she didn’t give a shit for everything I have done for her and just one month left before my departure, that she decides to turn her back against me. But, the later did I find out that the last time we messaged each other through Facebook which was 3 days before my actual birthday, I kinda pranked her telling my birthday was a week ago and you were a bad friend who forgot to wish me but forgot to reveal it was a prank. I honestly forgot to say to her that it was a prank and thus, she didn’t show up. Yes, I am a dumb-ass😅.

C).DISAPPEARANCE :I remember this silly incident where I had a friend whom I always had long talks for hours and we were very close for the past 5 years, there was this time she just vanished, and I couldn’t contact her. I freaked out and thought I might have said something wrong or did I offend her or am I not a good friend anymore. I started blaming myself for faults that I don’t know if I did it. I even emailed her and tried in every social media possible and even apologized to her. I think this went on for a week and after a while, she came back and said “sorry, I lost my phone. I couldn’t receive your messages.”. yes, that was totally messed up incident and i definitely shouldn’t have reacted so immaturely.

D). EXAMS :The greatest side-effect of overthinking is lack of self/confidence. This happens exactly right before we appear for an exam, although the course material might be vast and thick, you would have made many short notes in form of bullet points in order to study easily and remember them quicker. It’s funny how we overthink here. When we are on our way to the exam hall, you think hard trying to recollect your short notes and you don’t remember a few. That sudden panic attack because you feel like you studied really hard, but you can’t remember the points. And then you go into deep thoughts right before exams “have I studied enough, did I miss anything, what were my friends discussing about in the class about a question? I have never heard of such a question? Why are a few people bring their instrument box to class? Is there any drawing we should have studied? If you do this right before exam or on the way to your examination hall. We are definitely in the same page and overthinking really can be demotivating and give you a lack of self-confidence. I honestly forget to eat my meals and usually skip it because I overthink a lot of my problems and feel I have no time for anything else other than my problems

E). PASSPORT & FLIGHT: I had a recent incident where I forgot my passport back in my room and I was stranded in the city of Vienna. I was so mad at myself for things haven’t gone as planned that I went to a nearby shop, bought myself gummy bears and Coca-Cola and decided to sit in the streets of Vienna in the freezing cold holding all the grief and sorrow of this world. I think I made up my mind that I will have to spend Easter in my room, alone and depressed. I created so much sadness in me because I was overthinking of a sad vacation. When I was in the Vienna airport, just 1 hour away from the gates to close, I walked passed the security check-in and I looked around. No one asked to check for the passport and I later realized that I am travelling to a domestic terminal with the countries national airlines to Switzerland which is literally one hour away and there isn’t any passport check-up since its considered domestic flight and my ticket already is embedded to my passport. I was super embarrassed of myself and I literally freaked out everyone in my family because of my overthinking problems and caused everyone to worry about me. 😅

F). DEBUT BLOG :I remember my first blog “Morning Drench”, I showed it to one of my friends before publishing and let me say, he has read literally all the books in his life and a total critic when it comes to literature and his judgement are golden and precise. If he says someone’s content is excellent, he means it in a world-class perspective and has a really fair and sharp opinion. So, I asked him to evaluate my blog and he said one word “good”. I overthought that he felt it was alright, but he didn’t want to make me feel bad. I was hesitant to post my debut blog because I felt no one would like it and I am a piece of shit😅. I honestly made my mind that I failed because my elevator said “good” but I expected “really good” or “well done” or “amazing work”. But everything changed with the support of the community. Love you guys and thanks for keeping me going.

Well, those were my messy episode of overthinking and if you ae looking for a solution for that. To be honest, there isn’t any. As human beings, we are all thinks, and we are constantly thinking and anticipating scenarios. That makes us human. But I can suggest a few tips that I think is good to reduce your overthinking issues.

  1. Make a do-to list and the list should be based on what you want to do today. Don’t put problems of tomorrow into your todays life
  2. Be chill, enjoy the breeze and stay calm. Do something you love for a while, listen to music or read something interesting.
  3. Meet new people and talk about your problems. Because everyone is ready to help and give you their version of how they would handle the issue and you can a lot from it.
  4. Most important is know yourself and realise and respect your strengths and weakness. Do how much ever you can and don’t do it with perfection but make it your perfection and be different and unique.

 

I hope you enjoy the blog and comment down below your silly episodes of overthinking. We would be gladly interested to read and reply you back.

WRITTEN by DOCHI

#5.Collage Contrast : Austria vs India

WhatsApp Image 2018-04-20 at 15.04.33Hey there,
Welcome to a special edition called collage contrast which is a collaboration between me and my co-blogger where we give you an insight of how different it is between our collage life and let you walk in two dimensions of time and witness the extend of collage experience.
But before we dive in, these facts may not be true for every college but rather we try to deduce a general outline between the lives of us from them but more or less, try to come to a general conclusion. This involves not just our collage experience both also the people that are spread far and wide within the regions.

The college day morning

Austria: Well, let me start my saying everyday is never the same day. Because you basically don’t have a fixed time schedule and classes can begin any time of the day. Like some days, you have classes at 9 am in the morning whereas the other days, you may have at 4 pm. It always keeps fluctuating and another good news, you never have class all the time. Sometimes, you may have classes on Monday but maybe not Tuesday , then you have Wednesday & Thursday class but not Friday you are off. But your class schedule is always fixed. Like you were meant to  have accounting at 9 am on 1st May, which means will definitely have your accounting classes have 9 am on 1st may ,and nothing can change it unless the teacher is sick. So, every student has their e-calendar in their phone and there is no need to tell anyone when  your lecture is and where it would it be.

India: Well for us it’s entirely a different story. Our classes are pre-fixed and start every at 9.00.We have our add on courses such as CA, ACCA, CAT coaching etc till 11.30 after which we have our regular classes. I’m doing B.com degree and yeah this add on facility is something that only our college has.Yea add-on are compulsory additional courses that we take along with the B.com degree and is just like professional courses or coaching for a higher degree)  Most of the other colleges I know here doesn’t offer this facility). We are not as lucky as Dochi because our classes are fairly regular and we even classes on Saturdays although only till 2.30.We are informed about the classes via mail or we can check our special open source school management system named Fedena. The other colleges in our locality get a lot of day offs from Strikes and Hartals that are so typical here in India. The first thing my buddies in other colleges do when they wake up is inspect the newspaper for such news. But sadly for us, Hartal or not, Sun or rain, storm or breeze there’ll be classes for sure.

Our course system

Europe: We follow the ECTS system (European Credit & Transfer accumulation System), which means every course you take might have a specific credit that you will be awarded if you pass and complete your required task. Its like number of hours required to complete the workload & learning outcome in relation to the course. Basically, 1 ECTS= 25-30 hours of study workload but don’t freak out, it includes all the time you study at home or with your friends and anytime throughout the course. And example, software was 3 ECTS= 25×3= 75 hours of workload to complete the subject. Each course has a fixed time sloth before the exam. Like for example, Private law is a 24 LE class (1 lecture =45 mins), So, once those 24 LE are over, you need to write your exam and the Private law is done. You will have days where private law would be taught for 5 LE in one day, so, classes can be quite long and thick too.In total, the whole bachelor program consist of 180 ECTS and also exchange semester in the 3rd which is optional and 5th semester as internships ,which is absolutely compulsory.

India :Our course basically consists of different subjects that are spread across the entire 3 years that our course takes to complete. We have 2 semesters consisting of around 5 months each per year. For the first semester, we had papers like banking & insurance and corporate regulations and framework and for second semester we had courses like business regulatory framework and business management. The time allotted to each hour is flexible and depends on the workload involved. We had to do a second language paper this year but there’s only English literature from the second year onwards. The specialization papers comes only in the final year where the studies become much more intense and serious. Our college also offers programs that are held in abroad universities(This year it was in Canada and Taiwan) for short durations.

Our class system

Austria: Wondering how my classes are! Lets just say, it’s not necessary a lot of work materials to carry to class. You have an e-desktop along with your student ID number and password, your lecturers will probably post the presentation and all required course material such as research papers, reviews and extra questions. There might be a few courses that you might need a textbook but don’t go spill your money, you can probably find the digital copy available to download online for free. (#college hack). Oh!!, Are you looking how to skip classes. 🤣😅, Every collage has their different system of bunking classes. In my collage, its compulsory to be present but you are permitted to skip in total of 6 LE per subject. Which means if you are lazy to get up in the morning, and your lecture has 3 LE today, then just sleep it off. Its no problem. I personally skip class to get prepared for my upcoming exams but its totally fine to skip. Everything is possible to learn by yourself because you can learn those tutorials of your course through online sources or with the help of your friends. And FYI, you always have classes in different campus or different blocks, so. It always keeps changing depends on the professor preference and learning motive of the day. Most cases, you wont see your friends from other courses because everyone course has different time schedules and are always in different campus/blocks most of the time. Even lunch breaks are different for everyone.

India:Even for us, text books aren’t compulsory although our teachers do recommend that we buy ’em. They also give us the names of reference manuals that can give us a deeper insight into the subject.Our entire bcom department is divided into model 1 Finance and Taxation, model 2 F&T and model 1 Computer Application. We rarely ever get to sit our buddies in these other classes because the only time we get to go to a different classroom is when we have our add ons or language. When it comes to bunking we have to take precautions coz 75% attendance is a must for us. If we manage 65%,then we can get a condonation provided we produce a medical certificate(trust me that’s an easy task) but we can get condonation only in alternate years. If you fall short of the minimum attendance then you get the infamous supplementary better known an supply where you have to write the exams next year along with your Juniors. Also most of our teachers send us short notes and other important stuff so doesn’t matter even if your attendance wavered for a bit while you are in class.

What happens in class

Austria: That’s always a mystery question, I must say. Like I said you can bring anything to class right from your laptop to tablet to even your PS4.( yes, I had a friend who did that).You are allowed to record the whole class through your voice recorder. But trust me, having a lecture recording of 5 hours isn’t that helpful. Yeah, our lecture can vary from 2 hour, 4 hours to even 8 hours. Well, everyone has social media in the laptop and most of people class are probably playing poker online with your each or watching the sport game you missed last night or a live game. I always see girls doing their online shopping bucket in class 😅. Pretty much, you have all the freedom in the world. You can either pay attention in class and interact with your lessons or just chill till the class ends. I am personally hate long lecturers because I feel tired and sleepy. During the breaks, I need to wash my face often and take a small walk to survive the next few hours. But overall, its fun. Some lecturers are interesting such as marketing, but others are just plain dull. You need to accept that no course is your perfect course, so you must deal with interesting as well as thick topics. Oh, by the way. You can leave the class whenever you want. You don’t need to ask the lecturers permission. I still remember I was hungry and I had a 5 LE class, that I ended up going to a nearby glossary shop to buy apples. 😋 and totally doable.You can also leave earlier if you want to catch your bus or train back home.

India:Guess what! We cannot carry our mobile phones to college let alone use it. And if we are caught using our phones, the teachers or the principal himself will take it away and we’ll get it back only after a full month, not a day earlier no matter how much we plead or beg(even crying doesn’t work.. We have tried it). That never stopped us daredevils from using our phones though. Within this one year we have all mastered the art of texting with the phone in our bags while maintaining a straight eye contact with the lecturer. Yes I know we are legends. Also the safest place to use the phone without getting caught is…. that’s right.. the wash rooms. All we have to do is get permission from the lecturer to use the washroom and take the phone with you. But trust me it doesn’t work quite like this all the time. Once our class teacher grew suspicious of my friend who pretty much exploited this excuse and asked him to hand over the phone to him before hitting the loo.We had a good laugh that day.. And about having a snack while there’s class going on, don’t even think about it. The moment you are caught for even chewing a gum, you’ll be thrown out! But us legends have managed to eat a whole Biriyani(an Indian dish) while the class was going on. Its all about experience and skill! And about leaving the class in between, unless you can give a really strong reason or you are sick, your attendance will be marked as absent.

Types of classes

Austria:  YA!!, this is going to be interesting. Not every class is the same kind. You might have a few lecturers from a professor that lives in USA, so. Your lecturers will happen via Skype or other video call media. So, you will have classes just by laying in the bed in your room. Nah , don’t have to be online always. You might face the problems of buffering or video call not applicable. Its normal. A few lecturers record the video call and just upload it later. Some class are defined as e-learning which I still dont have a definite answer of. E-learning, too you can do it in your room. Its basically your lecturers will email you a few research papers or an assignment or even nothing, just do it but its not always mandatory. I honestly haven’t done anything during the e-learning. Probably watching a Netflix series, but is totally unaware that e-learning is supposed to happen now. Then we have something called block week, where you are should be present because you will be taught one subject the whole entire week(25 LE in one week)  because the lecturer is from abroad and is here for a short period of time .You will have exams the very next  week later. Then we have the normal class in seminar halls as well as smaller classrooms.

India:  For us it’s the same every day. Lecturers take classes using their presentations. But it’s not that boring because all of ’em are highly skilled and they do know how to keep us entertained. Plus there are only some 35 of us in a class so the lecturers know us all personally and daydreaming or napping is not a viable option because chances are you will be met with a “Go wash your face and come” or worse “I’m gonna mark you absent for this hour if you do this anymore”. They also keep a watch on the weaker students and even offer to throw in a few extra hours for em. Now for the best part.. Our Industrial Visits.They are absolutely the best.The perfect excuse to have fun under the excuse that you are visiting a factory. This “visit to a factory” only last up to less than an hour and the rest of the day is all ours to relax and enjoy to the max. Our IV has to be the day we enjoyed the most actually, it’s that awesome. And we have camps in 2nd and 3rd years and they are even more fun than our IVs.Also our college gives us opportunities to be develop as better people who care about the society and not just themselves. We are taken to orphanages and old ages homes to spend time with those beautiful people, who for no fault of theirs , are not in a privileged situation like us. Most of us are also part of the Young India initiative where we are introduced to a lot of platforms to boost our talents and develop overall.

Type of exams

Austria: just as how are classes are different, so is our exam. There are many time of exams or various types to get graded. Like a few subjects, requires you to do presentation or our e-learning homework’s. whereas, some subjects are “take home exams” or write a reflection paper about the course. There are also a normal written exam which can either be a mid-term or just a final exam. My favourite kind of exam is the open book exam, love it!!😍 you can carry all your course material and have all preplanned notes and sheets ready that makes your task easier to do. Its like you need to study a draft of how to do the tasks but having all the shortcuts and guidelines in reach of your fingertips. We also have something called the oral exams, honestly its stressful and all based on luck. You randomly choose the question from a pile and you have a 5 minute countdown and then you begin. Rapid fire question but some oral question are group based, which means you will be asked to make groups of 3 and do the oral exams together, if you don’t know the answer of a question, you co-mate is allowed to hint you the answer which gives him bonus points and you get the points too based on how you answer. Oral exams are easy to do well as well as easy to fail. My luck ran out in my first oral exams and I chocked on those hard answers and failed it by 5%.. oh, wondering what will happen to failures, the re-exam of the subjects are likely to happen after 2 months or within your next semester in between and called as resits, all exams are written. The level of difficulty will be the same as your previous exam and you can fail your 2nd resit and must try your 3rd resit, if you fail the 3rd resit. You go to your final chance ,the 4th resit which is an oral exam with your teacher, your professor will ask you how to do the task or ask you to explain a particular concept, and professor determines your fate. You fail the 4th resit, I am sorry to break the bad news but you need to leave the program. But unless you have a genuine reason why this happen, you can make a deal with the director that you can do only 3 courses out of 9 and stay back a year to redo the course you failed. Which means another extra year in collage But this is not applicable to university FYI.

India:We only have one single type of exam unlike Dochi and that is of course the written one. We have our semester exams and also certain internal exams that accounts for some percentage of the total marks. Our attendance and assignment scores are also added for the same. Assignments vary, like some teachers give us seminars or presentations while others give us written ones. In case you flunk a paper or fall short of the minimum attendance required to write that paper,it’ll automatically turn into your arrear paper which you will have to write it next year with your juniors. Also if you feel that your marks aren’t good enough then you can always write the improvement exam which is very much similar to the arrears.But the bad news is that however genuine your reason maybe you will not get a re exam in case of a failure or if you were unable to appear for it.

Academic calendar

Austria: Well, you study every semester like 9 courses and when you pass, you study another new 9 courses. But there are few subjects that are stable like accounting. You never have something like exam week rather your exams are spread throughout the semester. For example, my statistics classes ended on end on march and my final exam was on the first week of April whereas I started having lecturers on project management on the first week of may and have exams on June. Its all spread out and once you passed, you don’t have to worry about the subjects again. Just focus on the other upcoming courses.

India: We have a certain number of papers that we must clear for every semester, mostly six. And we take all the exams together. There’ll be study hols in between of course but other than that it’s all in one stretch. I think it’s better this way because all the exams will be over in the blink of an eye and afterwards you can relax in peace till the next exam. Also exams are at the same time for all the different departments as well as different batches. So we get to write the exams with our juniors or seniors

Free time, lifestyle & breaks

Austria:  My favorite segment among all, we do have plenty of free time here and there and we can treat our campus as our own home. During breaks, you can grab a snack in the cafeteria or if you are really hungry, have a feast in the canteen or leave the campus to have a quick fast food such as burgers and pizza. There are plenty of sources for food. In my collage, we have a cafeteria, canteen, food-stalls and even small restaurant. And right outside the campus, you can find plenty more. So, food is never a problem here. There are vending and coffee machines in every block.so, cheers to those coffee-lovers. You are allowed to bring food in your class and even eat during the class, not really an issue actually! Plenty of places to hangout, enjoy the sun or even play your favourite video games with your friends in the lounge. There is no fixed dress code. You are allowed to come to school with t-shirts and shorts and even wear a cap during class. Like I said, campus feels like home. I remember the other day, seeing a few guys who were shirtless play a volleyball game in the campus garden and its totally normal. You can even have a picnic under the tree inside your campus. 😍 we have libraries open till 9 pm if you want to study and its really quite there, I can guarantee that. Also, a place to do your group discussion and even a study hall.

India:Our break times are after every two hours and while its no big luxury like dochi’s it’s good enough. We have two cafeterias and if you are in a bunk mood you can always go there and chill. We do have a lotta restaurants outside the premises of our college but the break time wouldn’t be sufficient to make a grand visit to there. But if you are looking for a quick snack then you’ll have plenty of time and wouldn’t even miss the next hours. And you would be surprised at the next major difference. We have uniforms.. YES I’m not even kidding.Us college peeps look like high-schoolers with our grey uniform complete with black shoes and socks! Only time we’re allowed to wear color is if it’s a Saturday or if there’s some major event going on at our college.And yea we have a good library spread across three floors but you’ll find more books of Accounting Standards and Corporate Law than Nicholas Sparks or Sidney Sheldon. Also we have a pretty decent gym for girls totally free of cost and anyone can go there before or after the class hours.

 

While some people would find our college too strict and school-like, I actually like this place. College life is the last few years of our life where we can enjoy without having the burden of any responsibility. This carefree life is all gonna take a sharp turn the moment you pass out. And the friends we get now are friends for life because they are the ones who knows the real you. The hostel life is life at its best. These hostel mates turn into your family without you realizing it and you’ll only realize how much you are gonna miss em once you are separated. Right now we have this two month semester break and I should be enjoying the vacation but funny thing.. I miss those idiots every single day. I’m not even kidding. This is not just for me but for all college going kids like me. And although we are on the path of becoming responsible adults and good citizens, there’s no need to compromise on having fun and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Because if you don’t, you’ll have no stories to narrate to your grand-kids and make em realize that they have such cool grans! College is awesome regardless of where you are from because we all have one thing in common. The starting of a new life with no one to put reins on you. You’re like a mare galloping towards the wide horizon. So guys we only have one advise to you.. Enjoy to the fullest because trust me otherwise you gonna regret it at some point of life

I hope you got to experience our college from the two different extremes and understand how contrast is ours from yours but feel free to comment below how your collage is doing and we would be glad to hear your collage experience. And if you are from another country and have a unique collage life, do share below and love to hear the voices of my fellow readers.😃

Written by DOCHI & CHIRI

#2. Not By Name

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WhatsApp Image 2018-03-30 at 11.39.58You leaned over displacing your elbows on the desk acting as a cushion for your head to rest. You are in the middle of a lecture just staring at the big blackboard where the professor scribbles some important economics formulas that gives you the creeps, just extremely tired and bored of taking down notes yet struggling to listen and you glance at your watch to see how long for the class to end. Then suddenly, you hear an indefinite scream from outside. A sudden rumble and notice the whole classroom is shaking wildly, everyone is freaking out and you could hear things are just falling apart, chaos everywhere. You see tress from the windows collapsing and everyone startles from their seats trying to figure out what on earth is going on. But then the unexpected happened, a flood of brownish black water have taken a sudden toll into your classroom and you can notice everything around you just coiling at a force towards, a few of your friends have ran for their life through the back exit whereas many unfortunate colleagues being swallowed by the darkness of the tsunami right in front of your eye and your survival instinct kicks in and without thinking twice, you jump on a broken door partially floating, holding your balance and trying to fight your way in open light, still struggling to hold on, kneeing in the middle and having that strong grip firmly on the door knob ,you make yourself to the open waters. You see your best friend calling out your name as he is trapped in the cluster of debris in the corner of the open stairs, you scream as loud as you can “give me your hand”, feeling like a hero and your friend stretches his arms wide till he has got a good grip on my reach and he looked in joy and said “JOSHUA, WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INDIVIDUAL DEMAND AND MARKET DEMAND”. Huh!!!!!!!

Your friend shoves you from under the desk. You stumble back to reality and see your economics professor having a cold dead stare at you and you look around the class and everyone is looking at you. And you suddenly start to recite this mantra for no reason that you know is fake “please not my name, not today again” For a brief second, you take the time to process where to zoned out to, “did I just literally dream about a tsunami hitting the class and how I manged to survive it” and my silence is broken by the harsh voice of the teacher

Joshua, stand up!!, said the professor and your body reflex takes over and you are up in a sudden puff ready for a dozen of dreadful scolding. “Do I have to repeat myself” and in the softest most innocent expression possible, you say, “No Sir” and before even you could even reply, you hit the brain-dead mode already.

Let me just clarify, what do I mean by brain dead? Our brains are like a huge factory inside our head and the people, who biologist call as brain cells, but I call them as brain workers, tend to operate your physical and mental activities of your body. These workers feed the core of the brain known as the brain furnace so that your daily life keeps going on and power is generated equally throughout your body. So, me being a scary-cat/introvert have reality issues. When someone asks me an oral question of something I have never heard off, the whole factory inside my head starts to malfunction and those brain workers have to put extra coal into the core furnace just to face the terrible situation and give him the answer that he expects you to give but if your brain furnace tends to have a outburst, the commander inside your brain sends off an alarm inside your brain that goes to into lockdown protocol and you face brain-dead mode.
Yes, I have a weird imagination. I know!
In simple interpretation, I was scared to give an answer and fear took over my body. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself and give the dumbest response possible. So, I chose silence over my guesses.

If you are like me, you need to demonstrate your innocence in this situation.
First rule, don’t stare at your professor eyes because that triggers them. The more you look at them, the longer you will get your feedback. You need to let him know he is in control
In the meantime, stare at his shoe and admire the brand that he has worn and appreciate the little things in life.

Second rule, don’t completely ignore him, that would anger him even more because you need to give me the respect he deserves. So, look at this eyes for 5 seconds and the for the next 2 mins, keep staring at his shoe and then back at his eye and don’t forget to keep nodding and mimic your mouth “Yes, sir” but be stealthy as possible. Okay, I just realized I give the worst advice ever. Please don’t practices them. You will end up like me……………………. happy!!!

The feedback I get is usually the same, but I never complain, it goes like this. “I know you weren’t paying attention in class, your mindset is somewhere else, and you are still teenagers and you like to dream a lot. I understand you are interested in the opposite sex and you dream about them” Inside your head you argue to yourself.” Are you kidding me, I just dreamt of a tsunami hitting this class and how I only managed to survive, and you just concluded that I was getting involved in an affair just because I zoned out of your class. How is that even possible? And he goes on “you are in this classroom to study and these all thoughts can wait, first focus in class, finish your studies and then think of all the dreams you want to have. This is not the first time I have caught you for the same reason!!
You feel embarrassed to your toes and you hear your friends giggling in the background and you wonder “Well, another terrible memory no one is gonna forget” and without a word you keep standing in front of the whole class and you could feel that emptiness in the world since you are the only one standing among the privileged .You have hit the breakeven point where you just wished you could have skipped this day and you feel numb and sorrowful, pity to the heart, just drowning in your own tears of thought and just looking at the teacher in grief once more for making you the clown of the class.

Probably, right now, you would feel sorry for me and expect he would let you sit down and continue his class but……………. he does the unexpected thing I wouldn’t even think of.

You put his book down and adjust his glasses glanced directly at me. “I have seen your answer sheets before and the way you present your answers in the sheet. I am aware you are actually good at what you do, and you are one of those potential students that can attain a 100% in economics and I still believe you can, But all I need from you is your attention, be in class and study your daily portion and I am sure you will reach that goal and achieve a bright future. May be you won’t realize this now and think I am joking but I still believe in you”

Could you imagine the reaction I would have felt in that situation!! That first, I thought he was drunk because how is it possible to change your viewpoint in matter of seconds and I was still in this state of disbelief and questioning myself. “did I just get a compliment, is this even possible! You start looking at him in his eye with sigh of innocence and everyone eyes are still on you. Like as if you turned from the villain of the play to the hero.

He picked up his book and he told me in his kindest gesture to sit down. I was back in the comfort of my seat, staring at my course material and replaying the whole scenario like as if this one of those magical moment in my school life. Then, you hear the school bell ring off, which was every student`s favourite sound and you could hear a swam of hungry students just rushing their ways to the cafeteria .But he was still in class and he swept his eyes around the class in a flash and said in his professional tone over the noise generated outside “I want all of you to study chapter 3 and come to class next day. You will have a class test on Friday. That’s all. Thank you!
He gently opened the door and was on his way out already absorbed in the crowd of humans. I sat there for another minute just to accept the fact this has happened, and I always thought he considered me as that kid who wasn’t worthy in his “good student list”
And, honestly, he was the only teacher who has had an issue with me because I zoned out in his class most the time and he basically caught me eight times.
Do you know why I keep count, because he is the only person in my whole life who keeps getting me into trouble for not paying attention in his class.

A part of me is still scared of him even today whereas the other still adored him. He was kinda right, I managed to get a 96% in economics in my finals and even though, I never payed attention in class and zoned out most of the time. My motivation grew from him because he believed in something that I thought I was never good at and that’s what makes him a special teacher in my life

Although you wanted nothing more than to get away from them back in your school days, you find yourself missing them while you’re attending the lecturer of some professor who doesn’t even know your name. They showered you with all the unwanted attention in the world which bothered you like crazy, but you find yourself smiling like an idiot just thinking about it now. Sometimes I narrate the stories of my chivalric bravery and narrow escapes to my college mates and even while we’re all laughing about it I sense this dull ache that simple refuses to go away. I guess even if I daydream or zone out in a million more lectures I’ll never feel that sense of carefree happiness because getting into trouble was what made it special. I simply refuse to believe that I am not getting those days back.

Written by DOCHI

#1. Morning Drench

WhatsApp Image 2018-05-23 at 12.18.06

It’s odd to find the title of a blog “Morning Drench”. Isn’t it? Could it be the morning rain that drenches the mood of the day and you start finding every reason why you should have just stayed in bed and skipped a day by sleeping a bit longer.
Ha-ha, close enough but this is about the quite lonely introverts/dreamers. Well, Morning Drench is a term I developed to refer to the morning struggle that we introvert/dreamers have every morning and we feel drenched inside by the end even though it doesn’t rain. Just thinking of fact that having to go outside and back to class, makes me want to sleep again.

The day obviously starts with you setting up alarm literally every 5 minutes just to get up from 6.45 am to 7.45 am which is equivalent to 12 alarms. I mean, what on earth is wrong with us. Yes, I agree. We love sleep, to us, its our escape to somewhere favorable but I just don’t understand the logic that we partially get up, jab the alarm and then “Oh, let me go back to sleep and just continue my dream where I was surfing on a pizza on the beaches of Maldives” and fall back to sleep. Our minds keep rebooting in the morning till we come to our sense, and you wake up in this sudden panic around 7.22

That body drag from the bed to the bathroom is like moving through a mushy swamp since your eyes are blurry and you feel kind of out of posture. With that gloomy face feeling a bit sticky due to the aftermath of your sweet sleep, you look at the mirror and think “Oh god, if I go outside looking like this, the teacher would probably ask me my name thinking that I am a new comer.” But the brain sends this shock-wave, “no time to waste” and you garb you phone, put your favorite playlist running and get into that hype mood. How odd is it that we feel life moves faster and your body is in complete motion of activities because the music keeps playing that swirls up my every cell on your body into action!

But being a dreamer ,music can be your drug .We keep listening to our favorite music where we eventually end up fantasizing how you become part of the music video and have like background dances, various cliche moments that you sigh to the love of your life and how cool and famous you are in the situation, like only once the music is done, you are back at the sink staring at the mirror, saying “not again”, wasted my prep time and you jump into the shower but the music is still running. Ever wondered how we end up becoming amazing dancer with those hot moves under the shower but we literally can’t dance at all in outside world. I mean the shower is just our private shower party with music and yourself and you feel like not leaving the shower at all. It’s the only place you can show your hidden karaoke plus dance skills without being judged.

“But obviously, the warning alarm breaks the mood and makes you check back to reality that you are late. That moment of realization is just a total struggle, your body and your mind begin to working independently, like your body is doing the work of getting you changed up, combing your hair, packing your bags and school material and book your way out of this mess you have created whereas your mind is thinking the logic of the situation like as if it were a general board meeting taking an important decision. Okay, I wasted 20 minutes of my life and I might miss the bus, but if I skip breakfast ,I can make it to the station a minute before the early bus arrives and get to class 20 mins before the lecture begins but this means I have no time to clean my room, therefore, causing a dispute with my mom by evening but what if I don’t take the bus and ask my mom to drive me class but will cause a time delay since my mom has to pack the lunchbox for my siblings yet I can meet the needs of both my mom and the practical situation but as a consequences, I wouldn’t have the time in school to recheck my assignments with my colleagues before handing it over and might lose a few good marks and maybe, even a good grade ” This internal debate inside your head is just a lot to bare and you take the alternative without thinking , you walk to school taking the shortcut but you would be late by 5 mins, ha-ha, great .now ,we have to skip breakfast, run away from our problems as always and go on power-saving mode. Why are our morning decision so dumb I wonder?

And then ,you put on headphones, tilt your head downwards facing the walking path and start listening to your playlist all over again that you don’t realize that you are in auto-pilot mode where you are moving forward ignoring the by-passer and back to your fantasy world ,where you get the best grades of the class and your lecturer bragging about how excellent your work is and what kind of outstanding merit you deserve but you come back to reality only when you almost hit a pole or you were in the way of a by-passer or an angry driver inside a car honks at you. You look at the time and realized the bitter fact that when you were in auto-pilot mode that you end up walking slower than your usual pace that a few by-passer were overtaking you because you were busy daydreaming your life. How pathetic can your morning be.

You reach your campus and glance one more time at your wrist to see the time, “10 minutes late”, your heart whispers in comfort, “chill, probably the teacher would be late as well. You still can make it on time”. Walking through the empty corridor where you could hear the echoes of the seminars going on in different lecture halls and you find yourself in this awkward state of walking super-fast so people don’t notice you being late. By the time you find yourself in front of the door of troubles which is your assigned lecture hall closed, you accept the fact you are late.

Well, usually if you are late to a lecture, you quietly enter the class and sit at the back of the class without disturbing the lecture going on and therefore avoid an embarrassing episode to your life. That’s the universal unspoken law for the latecomers.
But you really think life is gonna be kind to you. Well, if you are a dreamer/introvert just be aware that nothing usually goes as expected.
Back to where you are outside the class, you slowly open the door, avoid eye contact with the lecturer and glance at the first person sitting on first row. “OH, it’s the usual first bencher”, you would be relieved to accept that you are in the right class. Just imagine you ended up in the wrong lecture hall with a bunch of random students, trust me, you would feel like locking yourself in the bathroom and camping there for the day due to such an embarrassment.

Now to the truth, firstly, as human being, we are all just lazy and hate moving, therefore, expect that your peers will occupy the side of the class which is closer to the door and secondly, the first two rows of the class would be taken by those studious, determined, hardworking, honest and fruitful mates whereas the last two rows are meant for those prankster, class jokers and gossip stars, the fun kind of people and those who like to make chaos and so, you find to grab your seat somewhere in the middle where the normal people who come to class because its required and just chill till the time runs out to enjoy the rest of the day.

Knowing these conditions, you need to take 180° walk all around the class to find the abandoned seat which is away from the door but slightly centred. Think of making that walk with your classmates staring at you and you could hear their thoughts scream “You Are Late” and you shiver your way to your targeted seat. You sit and discovery this peace, “finally made it”, inside you and you stare at what your peers are doing. Without wasting time, you dash out all the materials you need for the class and come to the bitter fact, you forgot your course-books back home. You sit there in a moment of silence ,staring at the reflection of yourself on the black screen of your laptop feeling drenched, going through these episodes of troubles and you grasp out in despair with a mood less face “could this day get any worse?” and do exactly what you always have been doing right from the start, you zone out.

Pretty much my morning in a nutshell but this is what happens when you don’t control your imagination and thoughts and its natural to experience this but if you always get yourself into trouble because of daydream, don’t be afraid.
You are not alone.”

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Thank you for reading my first ever blog/narrative story. I know this seems different from other blogs, but my motives are to keep you entertained by stepping into the world where we dreamers/introverts deal with basic situation. Feel free to give me feedback and my pro/cons since its my first time in such an exposure towards bloglife and I need all the help I can get

Written by DOCHI