#.14 My messed up hostel life

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Disclaimer: This is a fun Hostel experience from Chiri that she witness in her college back in Kerala,India. This may not be exactly the same hostel experience my readers experience. Therefore, enjoy the footsteps of another bloggers uni life.

A haunting eerie voice woke me up today morning. I woke up shuddering. I listened to the music for some seconds longer. Images of a fair lady laden in white clothing with pangs springing out through her chilly red lips and her piercing stare falling on my neck flashed through my mind. (vampires always do this thing of sucking blood from the tenderest part of our neck in movies, just in case you are wondering why I said neck of all the body parts). Turns out the music was just the alarm of my friend, who, by the way, was still sound asleep. Yeah annoying! I know right!!
There are so many things that makes my hostel life super awesome which I would love to share with you.

1. The first thing thing that comes to my mind when I say hostel is the food fights. Whenever someone comes back to hostel with home cooked food, we’ll turn into homeless people who were starved for days. The battle ceases only after the last bit of food has vanished into our tummies.

2. The next thing is the pre-exam days. We’ll not open our books until the very last day of the study holidays and towards the evening everyone will be seen pacing to and fro with a book in their hands as if their tails are on fire. Some legends will be seen searching for the books in all the dusty corners of the room and the ultra legends will be seen running to the book store to get the prescribed textbooks! (it’s totally true I’m not even kidding)

3. The next one is the best. The crush discussions. Every single guy who has crushes on your friends will be cross evaluated and discussed. We don’t just stop with the present crushes, we even predict potential crushes. Imagine the plight of a poor girl who’s sitting in the middle of the rest of the squad and being attacked from all directions. In the midst of all these teasing, if she dare to smile even once, then she’ll be met with “see, its only been days and she’s fallen for him already”!

4. Saturday preps. We have an option to wear color dress on Saturdays to college and Saturday mornings are usually the most eventful time of the week.To get your top and bottom to perfectly match is the most difficult thing in the world, we realize on Saturdays. Not to mention the most difficult task of ironing it. There will be some top few favorite tops which will be worn over and over by the entire squad until guys at college starts asking if that’s our new uniform! That’s the case in my squad idk about the others though! 😂😂

5. When the warden makes the villain entry.We are not allowed to make phone calls after 9.30 pm at our hostel. So one day I was calling my mom and it slipped my mind that it was past 9.30. I was narrating some funny incident and I was all laughing and giggling and boom! I landed right in front of our warden and she’s like I don’t care who you call as long as its before the time limit.Clearly she had thought that I was calling some boy. And what’s funnier the only guy who ever calls me is my dad(pathetic, I know right) but how can I explain all that to her. So I just smile the embarrassed “ohh you caught me” smile and cut the call because explanations aren’t worth the effort.

6.  Yay it’s someone’s birthday. Birthday nights are simply the best. Before I go on, I gotta tell you about the rules of our hostel. We can create as much ruckus as we want till 9.30 pm but not even a sigh should be heard afterwards. Which means no wishing, no cake cutting and especially no signing “HAAaaPppyyyyyYy BirtHdaaaayyYy to youuu” at midnight. But we go by the ideal that rules are meant to be broken so this has never stopped us from celebrating birthdays at midnights. (while we are on the topic of midnight I gotta say, everything is much more fun at midnight.. Eating,singing even showering.. Maybe it’s the moonlight charm 😂😂). If we are caught, an earful of scolding and a hefty fine follows. Being a hosteler, I’ll be broke like all the weeks except the week I’m returning from home so I try to avoid fine if I can help it. On my birthday we all agreed that we’ll make as little noise as possible so that we can escape punishment at least this time. But alas! The kids of the boys school hostel which is in the same premise as ours had chosen to prank their warden on the exact same day. They made a huge commotion at the door of their warden and then went to bed pretending to be all asleep. So when the warden woke up and went in search of the noise he saw his boys all fast asleep and guess what happened next.. he saw light in our building, that too in just one single room.. Everyone knows what that means.. Midnight birthday party! So the next day he called and complained to our warden that we made noise at midnight and woke up the entire boys hostel blah blah and the warden held a meeting of the whole hostel and while at it asked who’s birthday was! Desperately looking around to see if anyone’s raising their hands, I swallowed the lump in my throat. (okay I’m being too dramatic here.. The only thing I was scared of was if I would accidentally laugh while the warden was telling me off). The rest is pretty much self explanatory. And in case you are wondering, NO we(we as in my whole squad we) did not get a fine but was given a punishment what lasted for a whole month. And back to my birthday celebration, I got into the Guinness world records for taking the most baths in 24 hours.. 8. I TOOK 8 BATHS ON MY BIRTHDAY. One stinky oil bath, two washing soap water bath, one powder bath and rest all normal baths to get ride of the nasty smell left by the other baths. All thanks to my chuddy buddies!

7.”Pack your bags, we are bunkin’ ” Or maybe not. When you finally gather courage to bunk a class and step into the lift in order to avoid the next hour teacher, who usually takes the stairs but( dramatic pause) runs right into her on the lift,God… that has to be the most embarrassing cringy moment ever and it happens every single time. Maybe the universe is telling us to stay in class and be good students. Idk it’s positively creepy how it happens every time to me and me only!

8. Jo thera he vo mera he, vo thera he vo mera principle(that’s a Hindi verse which can be roughly translated as “what’s yours is mine, what’s mine is also mine”).When you are in a hostel, all of your stuff including your clothes, uniform, pillow, food, makeup, blanket, stationary, bag, college books, even bed will be common property on which you have no preferential rights. The only thing you have for yourself (maybe except for your toothbrush) is your phone. That too only if its locked with the most complicated password which cannot be encoded even by the Interpol.

9. The squad meetings. If you see the entire squad huddled together you know what that means..something spicy is going on. Or maybe we’re just discussing ghost stories. “I swear I left the tap open but when i returned after 10 seconds the tap was closed and there was no one in the washroom!”, “I was all alone in my room and I saw a shadow flickering past my bed TWICE!”, “I keep hearing footsteps behind me, but when I turn, there’s no one following me”. “That’s it. There is a ghost at our hostel”…

Hostel life is awesome, this is a realization which was dawned upon me in the course of the past one year. Sometimes I feel that I like my hostel much more than my college. Weird but true! Living in a hostel made me realize that my friends are no longer friends but my new family. There’s so much love between us, yes we fight occasionally and go for days without talking but when we get back together it’s picking up exactly where we left off. That’s what I love the most about some people. I see these people all the time, at college as well as hostel but we never grow tired of each others company or run out of stupid stuff to blabber. These people who have seen you at your rock bottom, if they still stick to you and stick up for you, trust me they are angels whom you wouldn’t want to loose.That’s the lesson I learned from my first year at college..

 

If you have any hostel stories to share, go on I’m all ears. Or eyes. Whatever!! 😂😂

Written by CHIRI

#13 Dreams that Hurt

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“I don’t think you are good enough for it, don’t raise your hand.”, “you shouldn’t be wearing this outfit, you don’t want people to know what you look like beneath” “you couldn’t possible step up and deal with haters, so don’t bother?” “you know what happened when you what happens when you get too close” – those voices of pain of the past.

Ever just sat there in a moment of ordinary, that you zone out to the flashbacks of nightmares. Those chapters that you try to hide away from your life that you labelled as mistakes. The ones that still haunt your past and elements of dark memories that rashes your present. That’s when you know, you are having a dream that hurts.

As humans, we aren’t perfect, and we all had episodes in life where we mishandled life situations, you took it the wrong route and you lost a part of yourself during the process. Those flashbacks haunt you because you don’t want to be that person anymore and you try to change to your very best version of yourself. I try to be as positive as possible but sometimes, I just break down by remembering those glimpses of the past where things have gone wrong and those voice talk, they aren’t from the heart neither from the head, these are the voice of the past. The ones that hold you by the grip and walk beside you, but in your eyes, they are oblivion.

There are days , I would stare at the mirror and look at myself really hard and feel like the past is all piling up again, that sense of loneliness, knowing you have a voice that you never use, yourself being judged for the way you appear and you build a character of a baggy outfit and you wear a cap to avoid eye-contact and existence itself. Realizing you don’t take photos of yourself because you forgot how to love yourself again and you glance in the sky, thinking if the past was part of me now and can I overcome this dream.

Every past has good memories and unfortunate mistakes. Such as you short-temperament, or an selfish act over a benefit, an misleading conquest over possession, lie for a win, betrayal and the list goes on. I know as humans, we wouldn’t want to admit our faults but deep down, you know we aren’t pure as we say. Why does the past decides to creep in now when you guarded it away as you moved on and believed to be a changed person?

This happens when you feel lost, when you are away of your comfort zone, when you feel that the everyone is on the train destined to achieve something great, but you feel left behind or you are driving your fate without knowing what direction you want to drive through. That’s when those dreams that hurt creep into your mind and whisper the voices that drenches your meaning. I know that feeling exactly because being a daydreamer, zoning out becomes part of your life and you just accept it. whether it brings you to happy places or sad memories, there is really no remedy to cure those dreams. A part of this is to fight it, and that’s what I try to do and that doesn’t mean eliminating your past, I mean to prove to myself of past that i have changed and I am a better person than I was before.

I can’t guarantee if I was able to convey the message perfectly because even when I write this, I have voices that say “Words are just mere Words” but to the people that fight with their past and find it difficult to talk or convey your emotions to others because you yourself are lost and don’t know if it would be silly bring the dark thoughts of the past into the present. I must say, its good to let it out, you can’t let it hide in your forever, you are in control of your life and you need to build the future that you dream to see yourself in.

The best way I overcome this issue of black memories is to remind myself of the good and appreciate the people that look out to you for the true person they see you as. My best help was a SLAM BOOK and those birthday cards and friendship collages, mostly importantly anything that signifies happiness. While I am reading my slam-book, or I reread all the comments on my work, or when I look through my history. I see the good shy me, always finding a reason to smile. And I smiled because at that very moment because, I felt like I changed for the best and everyone saw me the way you wanted to be seen. And now I say, I want to bring that smile back in me.

My slam book is filled with words of positivity and actions that I left unnoticed, but people took into account, yet, they didn’t tell me at that moment. My friends, parents and teachers saw the good in me, they supported me because they believed in me. I wasn’t afraid anymore because I didn’t feel like falling backwards anymore. Those are dreams that smile, that give to a reason to keep looking forward and not let anything get your way.  Because the moment you let yourself down, you start digging your own pit of sadness and trust me, I have dug a tombstone of problems myself. But it always took me to rely on the good things to remind me that your dreams of smile are stronger medicine than the dreams that hurt. Let not your dreams of hurt consume you, learn from it and build over it. that’s how you create your dreams of smiles.

Life as We know it

WhatsApp Image 2018-07-30 at 16.45.59Life is not fair. Get used to it.” My mom used to say. Little did I know what that meant then. But now after life knocked me down multiple times, I understand what that meant.

What life taught me? Well, I have been taught many things, but…Three of them stand distinct from those life lessons. Firstly of course as I mentioned, Life isn’t fair…get used to it. No matter how hard you try, no matter how fair you try to be, life won’t treat you that way. I don’t need to explain to you how this works because you all must have experienced it one way or the other. There would always have been a point in life when we all would have complained “where the hell did I get it wrong!?”. The truth is that we can’t really do anything about it. I cannot give you any advice on how to prevent the unfairness in life also. What then? Accept it. Accept the fact that life won’t always be fair & move on. That’s the best & in fact the only thing you can do.

Secondly, you need to understand the universal fact that “Nothing is permanent in this world (that means you too) & the only person you can hold onto always is only yourself”. I tell you this because some years back, a girl once shared a meme regarding this very fact & her very good friend criticized her beliefs and argued that it was utterly foolish. And that friend is none other than your humble writer. Like I said, this blog itself is about what life taught me. Life changed me & made me what I am today. I now accept the fact that my best companion & life partner is myself. Me being the single child of my family went through this all my life. A feeling when you don’t have anyone to look up to, you don’t have anyone to back you up, you don’t have anyone to hold you close and tell you “it’s going to be okay, buddy.”

That is when I learned to be alone. That is when learned to be happy with myself. I learned to back up myself. I became self-reliant. I walked the lonely roads, the roads not taken. Then I realized that those who fly alone have stronger wings. They call you a lone wolf, but who cares? They say lions always hunts in pack, I replied a Tiger always hunt alone. It’s never a thing to stay alone. When you say your problems to yourself, when you become your best friend, when you care for yourself, you become a self-sustaining human being…a godly weapon.

I am not saying that you should all be loan wolfs. You always have the freedom to hunt in packs. This is for those who are fighting their battles alone. I wanted to write about this topic because I hope it will help you to stand up and face the unfair world with all your heart.

What made me think like this? Let me ask you, have you ever trusted someone so much? Have you ever loved someone more than you love yourself? Have you ever put your key to happiness in someone else’s hand? Well…if you have….it’s a big mistake. I’d rather call you a fool…cause I was being that fool my entire life. I have trusted & loved many & in the end I was left with only me for myself. And in the process I forgot to love myself. That’s why I said, set you as your first priority. Everything & everyone else is & should always be secondary. Learn to let go.

The third thing is the existence of Karma. Karma is like a boomerang they say. You throw it, and it would come back with twice the power. Alike are the things you do in your life. Whenever you are about to do something. just know that whatever that you are about to do, whether good or bad, it will return to you. You do a good, you get a good. You do a bad & the devil will speak.

My mom always used to gift children with expensive gifts even when we weren’t financially sound. I used to say “Mom, what are u doing? Why are you wasting al the money”? And she did say in her sweet motherly voice” Son, you will get this all back one day”, I never agreed with her until…until the day I got an iPhone as a gift from one of my mom’s distant friends. I mean, why on earth should he even gift me anything at all? I didn’t even know the guy very well. And then what followed was a thunder storm of things that I didn’t even deserve. And now here I am.

These three things taught me a basic principle of life – “choices”. I think choices are the most important aspect of one’s life. It’s the choices that we make today reflect upon our life down the line. It is not about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices, everything done have a justification from the doer. In my point of view, every situation has three angles to it ‘first parties opinion’, ‘second parties opinion’ & ‘the truth’. Thus, it depends on the choice we make that define on which side we stand and who we are.

“All i wish to tell is that life is like a roller-coaster have ups and downs…In fact these are the two important things which give a meaning to life. What i intend to say is that the very purpose of life is to knock you down & see if you can stand up again. You must be familiar with the story of a giraffe baby. Do you what does it get first hand when its born? A kickers kick from its mother. The baby is knocked down. It gets up, gets knocked down again & it continues. Do you know why does the mother do this? The baby giraffe’s skin is so soft & fleshy that it attracts predators, so in the absence of its mother it should be able to defend itself by running away.

Baby Giraffe Drawing Mother And Baby Giraffe Drawing

Only after a few kicks does the baby understands why he is kicked & once it figures it out it starts running.

Like the baby giraffe, don’t give up on the problems, for giving upon problems means giving up life.

I got my kick. Have you?If you have, then do your thing…work the magic of life.”

Written by Guest Writer Kannen P.R

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Hello folks…the names Kannan .I hail from one of the most ancient civilizations on earth…The Indus valley civilization.
Am an automotive geek & i love public speaking.Those around me say am good at writing too and i hope thats why you are reading this.
I live my life according to my rules,follows my instinct & do what makes me happy.I was super excited when my best of the best DOCHI asked me to contribute to his blog.I didn’t want to let down his expectations.I did my best here,i hope all of you like it.Thank you Josh for inviting me for being a part of your venture.

I would like to thank my best friend Kannen for being part of this journey and having to work with you and bring that sparkle was always my goal. We might be miles away from each other, yet I feel close to see elements of friendship in our blog. You are a strong person and i have never won an argument with you yet 😅. You are what i call family and i am so proud of who you become. Keep growing and believing in the good.  I loved the message in the blog and you deserve a voice.

If you enjoyed this blog, feel free to comment down your opinions and spread that positivity and stay tune for more project and talent to take the spotlight as well.

 

 

Confessions of a friend-zoned lover

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Love, a four letter word, a joke to some, a penance to many and a dream to most. I’ve always been a drifter, simply moving, no destination, no ambition, just a thirst for something different, something to give meaning to an existence, whose cons made profound by the solitude that stands out as the most describing feature of this life, and how ironic would it be, that I should find a girl, that changes my life by simply being a part of it. For the first time, for the longest time, I felt like I had an aim, like I wanted something more than just a daily dose of entertainment. I needed more than a friend, I needed to mean to someone more than anyone else did.

It was the best part of my life so far and I will forever cherish it, even though it was a failure, even though we don’t talk anymore, even though I have to write blogs to say the words, I couldn’t bring myself to say, to people who have no relation to this whatsoever. Yet, here I am. Why? I do not know. I guess I hoped someone could connect and know they are not alone, or may be, I am the one hoping I am not alone. Its funny, how the one person who you couldn’t imagine a day without talking to, is the person that makes you turn your head, hoping to NOT be recognised. Is this what all the jokes, talks, my obnoxious staring, my limitless caring, my love and my ambition led to? A bunch of memories that still makes me sigh in regret, and yet I would still never have it any other way.

For some reason, I would always lap up any bullshit she gave me, I would help her even when she never asked, because no matter how much she hurt me, it was unintentional, and moreover my fault. But even as every song reminds me of her in some way or other, I would try to push out thoughts and memories of many of the moments we spent together, many of the times when I messed up, trying to impress her, and yet I could never forget that beautiful face, but most importantly that beautiful soul she had. She was everything anyone could hope to be. She was fun, popular, beautiful, sports star, house captain, from a well off household, the makings of an all rounder, who you would expect to be egoistic, but just the nicest person ever. Ego and hate just never existed in her dictionary.

That, along with everything else that made her, well, her, just made me love her more by the day. I could barely make some happy if I tried, yet she made me happy, everyday just by walking in to class. How she did that, I still wonder. But deep down, a part of me still loves her, not in the way I did before, but simply love her for the person she was, more accurately respect her for how she influenced me, intentionally and unintentionally. I guess I always looked up to her. The way she was loved by all. The way she cared, not because she should, but because she could.

Even now, if anyone asks me for my favourite superhero, I would say batman, but in my mind, I would guiltily utter her name. One, she existed, unlike comic book heroes, and yes, she didn’t have super speed, laser sight etc etc, but as Christopher Nolan rightly pointed out in The Dark Knight Rises, a hero can be anyone, even someone doing something as simple as putting a coat around a young boy’s shoulder, telling him, the world hadn’t ended. She was that kind of hero. She motivated people when they needed it. She motivated me to be better than myself. When she rejected me because she had only seen me as a friend, she said, “Go and be the great person I know you can be…. And make me regret this decision.”

I was awed by the purity in that soul. She didn’t use her strength to help people, like batman or superman, she gave people the strength to help themselves in times of crisis, so that next time, they didn’t need her help. She made them independent, she made ME independent. Even today as I enjoy people’s praises on my writing, I would forever credit my literary success, if any, to the girl that broke my heart, not by harsh words or actions, but by being too pure to be human. It’s such moments that make me realise, love is not a burden, it is not a sin and most importantly, it is not a responsibility or a requirement for a complete life. It is merely a treat meant to be enjoyed while it lasts, enjoyed even when it fails, for it only leads to something better.

As cringy as it may sound, it took a girl’s presence in my life to see why the whole “spread love not hate” is a cliché. Its been done so many times because of how effective and beautiful it is. Today, I try to help others realize the dream I have yet to achieve myself, and yet I shall always cherish the fact that, of all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, loving her without being loved back was never one of them

Written by GUEST writer ARAVIND

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My name is Arvind K , I’m an undergraduate student from India who tried to seek love and, well, failed miserably. But I’ve heard that successful writers are born from an unsuccessful love story and by that logic, I could equal the likes of Shakespeare and in the midst of those failures, I found an escape in writing, saying the words I could never say to to total strangers. It sounds sad, friend zoned lover writing about his crush, and it’s cliché to the maximum level possible, and maybe some more, but hey, it makes for a good story, doesn’t it? Lover boy, stealing hearts with a broken one… Or is that just me?

well, lets just take a moment to thank Aravind, an extra-ordinary writer a word of appreciation for magically putting down his thoughts and words down into paper beautifully, i am glad we can appreciate content that empowers emotions and feelings. There is always room for talent and you know there is talent when you feel it. thank you Aravind and if you truly enjoyed this blog , comment down below your thoughts and share us your opinion. Always remember to spread love.

 

 

Loneliness-A Bliss

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Once, I was sitting in my home, with random thoughts popping up and down, just like balloons,from nowhere.I was thinking about all the squeamish and fiddling things of my life, as home is the best place to figure it out. The past cling on to us. And sometimes when we try to shed it off and fly away it may claw on to us. But we can knock it off by taking the essence of every experience we’ve had.

Most of us, in our lives, would have had a dreary or tormenting experience. Most of them would’ve left a scar on us ,a wound deep inside our hearts. The thought of which may disrupt the flow of life. Some can be even exasperating to think of and some can bring a smile on our faces. That’s the fact about life, it can’t be exuberant and frolic all the time and it won’t always be sophisticated or sullen.

Starting from our childhood, life teaches us something. Everyone ,whom we’ve met so far would’ve taught us a lesson that we’ve tacked on to the book of life. For instance, In our childhood, being punished even for the tiny little mistakes would’ve felt miserable .But don’t you think we’ve learned something valuable from those goofy mistakes?.

As our life wanders off, We add more lessons into our book. We may have several questions as in why certain things happen to us. For some we may find the answers but for some we may not. When I was in school, I’ve had some dreary experiences. From childhood one of my worst fears was of being lonely. In my school, (maybe because of my own character) ,I was ditched by my own best-friends. And maybe because of my sullen face no one bothered to accompany me. Imagine being alone in a canteen full of squads, eating alone in a big table amidst the hustle with no one to talk to . At the same time imagine being in the same canteen with friends here and there and everywhere with whom you can babble all the time. I guess the latter is better. Now, can u imagine being in a college where you are muddled up in a status quo position, where you have friends but you don’t have one with whom you can be loony. Think of yourself sitting in a class all alone amidst some diligent people ,where all you can do is just smile and laugh to everything you hear.

But from all those daunting experiences I’ve learned something . All these lonely moments were a lesson that tamed me to be happy with my own company . And with the passage of time I found happiness in even the little things like books and my dog of course. I do realize now that the only company you’ll have when you are born and when you die is yourself . We can’t take all the worldly possessions with us when we are in the brink of death. We can’t even take our near and dear ones . In life when you are left all alone, you will find your true self. You will learn more about yourself,your dreams, your talents, your aspirations. When I was left alone I began to read.I learned new words and I must say that I do see an improvement in me. I learned to use those words to scribble down random thoughts and now here I am writing my first blog.

Now, what I’ve learned so far from life is :

  1. Some people may stay , and some may leave. We shouldn’t rely too much on them or coax them to like us. We should learn to do things on our own.
  2. Don’t be perplexed or exhausted when left alone. Think of it as a chance to know more about yourself, to grow and nurture your capabilities, dreams and aspirations.
  3. Look around and you’ll find a lot of things to swoon over. If you try, you can find happiness even in the little things of life.
  4. Try out new stuffs especially the things that you’ve never done before. . At least the ones you think you are bad at. You will be surprised to discover that you are capable of doing much more than you’ve imagined.

A few things you can try when you are lonely:

  1. Try reading new books. Books are really interesting once you start getting the hang of it. Especially the ones that makes you swoon over.A book can be your best friend. It’s a totally different world out there.
  2. If you love pets and have enough space then try buying one. I personally prefer puppies. You can’t predict the way in which they light up your mood and your world.
  3. Sleep. It may sound stupid. But sleeping is one of the best remedies when you feel lonely. When you sleep, you will forget all the dreary experiences and when you wake up you will have the spirit to accept everything as part of life.

Written by Guest Blogger Sandra Paul

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Hey there ! I’m Sandra Paul. I’m sure no one knows me and I ain’t that famous . I’m just a normal girl who loves to goof around. I love to laugh and I take it to an extent where people wonder if I’m nuts! And I love dogs. I believe they are the best partners one will ever get . I own one too. Her name is Leucy and yes she’s the one featuring my blog!! This is my first blog and I don’t have an idea as to how it’s going to be. I hope for the best ‘-‘.

Well, another amazing guest blog from the public. Sandra, i loved your work and i am really happy to have you in our family. She is absolutely amazing, honest and truthful. I met Sandra randomly through Instagram, where i came across her Instagram stories and she wrote a small script about HOME and it was outstanding. It clicked me instantly, that i needed to ask her for a collaboration in my blog and she  deserved to be heard by the world.  And that`s always our mission, to pinpoint the talents that lie hidden inside a person and a little bit of guidance and self-confidence, you all can make magic, just like Sandra did and the daydreamers are really proud of you.Give her a follow if you did wish to keep up-to-date with her life @s.a_n.d_r.a_0_0

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If you enjoyed her debut blog by Sandra, spread love and leave down your opinions in the comment section below. Also, stay tuned more more amazing and talented writers to come into the spotlight.

 

 

 

#12. Phobias that refuse to say bye bye

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Phobias are essentially part of every single human being. However brave a person might appear on the out, he’ll definitely have some fears hidden beneath the brave exterior. It might range from the mild kind or the extreme kind but it’s presence in some way or other is definite. Don’t we all remember the hunky Tobias Eaton aka four who had just four fears. It had me thinking like how cool would it be if only I had four fears like him. I have some forty fears that I can name now without even pausing to think, even more if I can give it a bit more thought! Scary thought right? Some fears, we can pinpoint and name but others we can only feel with a certain intensity which cannot be expressed into words. Fears differ alot. A brave guy who, on the out, is not afraid of anything at all might actually have mental fears, like fear of loosing his friends or fear of not meeting the expectations of others. There are some really funny phobias too.Once my roomie bought the entire 3 blocks of the hostel to our room with her scream.Everyone thought someone was murdering her, me included.Turns out she had seen a cockroach flying over her and thought it was gonna land on her. But hey I’m not judging her because although I’m not scared of cockroaches I certainly would have woken up, not just the hostel, but the entire city with my screams had it been a snake.

I have some really weird mental fears. Once I get attached to someone , they’ll mean everything to me and I’ll be willing to do anything for ’em. But I have this fear of getting attached to someone who doesn’t feel the same way about me. This has never happened so far but if it ever were to happen I’m sure it’ll leave me broken and hurt beyond repair. So I’m kinda guarded around people and only let certain people whom I’m sure wouldn’t hurt me, inside my bubble.This is not even something I do on purpose, it’s like a subconscious thing that I do. Another fear is the fear of loosing the people I love (I don’t wanna spook you out but yeah I meant death). I don’t wanna talk too much about it because I’m pretty sure you get the picture. So moving on to the next one, fear of not finding “the one”. I’m really old fashioned when it comes to the whole love thing and I can safely say that I have never been in love. I’m waiting for that perfect guy whom I’ll meet(hopefully) after 4-5 years. I got this dumb illusion that I’ll magically find him the moment I’m ready for it.. Like I said dumb! But I’m holding on to this dumb illusion for now till I find another alternative.The next fear of mine is something I should have outgrown by now but sadly I’m still stuck on it without any ways of escape. It’s a pretty common fear found in kids but for a 19 year old it’s definitely embarrassing.The fear is simple enough, I’m scared to address a public audience. Whenever I’m standing in front of a group of people, words fail me and I start to stumble.This also happens if my teachers ask me questions. I think some of my teachers know this and they bombard me with questions in order to help me overcome this fear but it hasn’t been of any help so far. So guys reading this blog, it would be super cool if you could suggest me some ways in which I could overcome this fear. And for the final fear I wanna share, fear of not being good enough. Whatever I do I feel that I’m not good enough. I think I may have self esteem issues and that may (stress on both the “mays”) have something to do with it. I always doubt myself, it’s like I write something and I need someone else to read it for me and unless I hear that person say it’s good enough, I don’t feel that it’s good enough. So even while I’m writing for the blog, I constantly show everything I have written so far to Joshua and I need to hear from him to carry on with it. I also constantly fear and worry that I’m not pretty enough or charming enough like the others.

I have given it a fair amount of thought and I have concluded that I don’t have any crippling fears that just freezes me from the inside or anything dramatic like that. That’s a comforting thought but still I have a lot of fears that I need to work on. You don’t have to compare your phobias with those of others around you. Because just like you your phobias are unique too(atleast that’s what I would like to think).And there’re stuff you can do to make your phobias a lil less bad,if not conquer it. Pushing and challenging yourself to the maximum that you can go will make you stronger and it’ll give a feeling that your phobias are all under control and that they’re not gonna break you. New phobias find their way into my body all the time but I take it as a challenge that I should capture and conquer and life is a whole lot colourful this way! So my advise to you people is that don’t shy away from your phobias instead embrace ’em and eventually win over ‘ em!!

Written by CHIRI

 

 

#11. Laments of a Not-so-happy introvert

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I know a lot of introverts who are perfectly happy with whom they are but i am not one among them .I’m a totally introverted person ,tongue tied whenever someone talks to me for the first time and all that, but that doesn’t stop me from dreaming of being an extrovert.I have read tons of posts and articles and quotes on introverts ..but those tell stories of introverts who are comfortable with their identity.The thing is that I don’t have an introvert face ..it might sound stupid but it’s one hundred percent true .I get judged all the time for not conversing enough or not waiving hi or even for looking at the floor while walking!

It takes up all of my energy to talk to someone when I don’t feel like it .It’s not just frustrating but also puts me in a very awkward position.Its like whenever you are talking to someone your mind is desperately trying to find a quick excuse that could get you out of this plight.But the only thing that keeps introverts like me going is that we got some amazing friends who has seen the wild ,crazy side of us. When you’re with them you wont feel the need to force anything..it comes to you naturally and effortlessly and sometimes you make them wonder if they have to super glue your lips in order to shut you up.

I have been called the arrogant girl who looks down on everyone and I have spent hours pondering over where I have gone wrong but now I am a whole lot clear on the whole thing .Do the best that you can manage and if it’s not enough then don’t hurt yourself thinking it’s all your fault. There are people out there who are going through the same thing as you are and you are not alone in this. It might not sound like a big deal to others who’ll be thinking what’s the big deal in making a small talk or how on earth is conversing hard but trust me guys,its not that easy for everyone. So all I’m asking you extroverts is not to judge those others just because they weren’t friendly enough to you, don’t mark ’em down as arrogant, because chances are they are just not confident enough to open up a conversation. If you give us a chance we can prove that we are indeed master chatterboxes.

Not all introverts are against going out or having fun just roaming around. That’s just a cliché, trust me. I absolutely love hanging out with my friends. We wander around places aimlessly, explore new restaurants and gawk at cute guys. Yes we do all of that.Whenever people picture an introvert having a good time, the image that comes to their mind is a person snuggled up in a comfy chair with a book. And that is something which I enjoy beyond words but that’s not the only thing that we do for fun, we do other stuff too. Adventures are all good but some days you gotta stay in your room with your favorite book because that’s the call of the day. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that introverts can be spontaneous and fun too but some times they are just happy with their alone time.. And they gets marked down as anti social or boring which is just plain sad!

But in spite of all this I have decided that I want to make an effort to change myself into a better person. Its only because I want to prove to myself that I’m strong and I can do this. I don’t know how much time it’s gonna take me to finally be comfortable around everyone I meet (actually I don’t even know if it’s possible at all) and frankly that’s not even my goal. All I wanna do is improve myself a bit more, be a better person than I was yesterday. I know that I’ll definitely be a happier person if I manage to spot a difference in me!

So I wanna tell something to all those introverts out there. Do stuff that makes you happy but learn to come out of your shell once in a while or so too. Its not a bad world out there. It has so much to offer to you. Challenge yourself and you’ll see a better and happier version of you. And most importantly don’t let anything discourage you because you, my friend, are a beautiful gem. You’ll shine in all your glory the moment light falls on you.So don’t hide away in the darkness. Come out and let the world gasp at your brightness.

Written by CHIRI