Dear diary, the silence of my phone is deafening.
Hey, wassup? Its been a few days, I know. I’ve been busy, but it seems you have been too. Your programs went well, I presume. I can’t begin to explain how annoying it is to have so much to say, but no you to say it to. My day just feels incomplete without telling you all about it, to the most minute detail, and you cracking a silly joke every second. I can’t help but wait for you to text me or call me on my cell phone. Sometimes I wish I had a hotline to communicate with you. It’s funny, people talk about how they see a diary as a best friend, but here I am seeing a best friend as nothing short of a diary, only so much more. Each day, I simply open my phone out of habit, to message you and then just as I open our chat, I remember you’re busy with everything that’s going on, and I foolishly place my phone back in my pocket. My friends keep asking me, “Why do you pay so much attention to that girl? Just cause you have a crush on her doesn’t mean you have to message her all the time.” If only they knew I’m anticipating a whole different person. Imagine what they would think if they knew I barely talk to the girl I have a crush on because I’m too busy handling the random bullshit of the only person whom I conﬁdently conﬁde all my random bullshit to. The icing on the cake being that we are 2 total strangers who know each other better than most people who know us in real life. I sometimes wonder, what would happen if we ended up running into each other somewhere? Would we even recognize each other?
How is it, someone who you barely know, is the person about whom there’s barely anything left to know. Its a weird world and we are a weird species. But even in such impossible circumstance, two people, at two different ends of the spectrum became nothing short of siblings through a medium of communication. My friend, my polar opposite, my sister and my diary. What would I do without you? Probably make rash, irrational decisions left and right, and that’s not a very promising prospect. But of all the decisions I’ve made, deciding to try and help you be less introverted and more conﬁdent is perhaps one of my best. As much difference as I’ve made in your path. I’ve traveled roads that were till then untraveled until there were no roads left. I’ve always been really conﬁdent and gutsy, but you had a big part to play, and in the end, our conversations have always taken me to different levels and I have a good feeling you’re gonna help a lot more people along your way. You’re are truly more than what meets the eye. As childish as you say you are, you’ve helped me much more than you give yourself credit for. Maybe its the naivety of your opinions and remarks that give me a different angle on my situation and help me decide upon a different path. Strange, isn’t it. But I’m always glad to have you by my side to push me further and keep making me believe in myself, that I can succeed, even when my chances are 1 in 14000605. With my resolutions of stone paired with your inﬁnite positivity, everything is in my ﬁngertips and I can achieve anything in a snap. Even if half the world stood against me, I’ll reduce them to ashes. I feel so phenomenal, even when everything becomes a bit shady.
Also, just the other day I was reading Diary of a young girl: Anne Frank. I was baffled by the resemblance between yours and her characters, the fun, naive, positive girl that simply refuses to be negative, and now you’ve got me to take the place of Kitty. As long as we have each other, we don’t need blue eyes to survive any holocaust
But one of things I really miss when we have long silences is our silly arguments, and how we settle our differences, especially with the addition of all the things that have been happening recently. Sometimes it feels weird to go about my day without having annoyed you with a stupid comment about something or the other you care about. But even with all that stupidity between us, I don’t need to check the horoscopes, to know that you’ll be a star one day. Greatness has always been within you. As it is in everyone, but sometimes greatness has strange ways of showing itself. Even if its in the form of a person who’s introverted enough to barely talk to people, deciding to not be introverted as much and then successfully making friends on her own terms. Must have felt on top of the world. Everyday it’s a privilege to see you grow, till you’re practically 10 feet tall. But what truly surprises me, is even after all your achievements, your humility is still ﬁxed in its place. That’s what makes you truly special. No matter how much changes you undergo, you change without losing your individuality. You don’t remain the same, but simply become better. Every second of your life is the most perfect you’ve ever been and the most imperfect you’ll ever be, and I think that’s just amazing. Your moral compass is on point. But one thing I ﬁnd amusing, is how you don’t see it yourself and think why other people like you, have trouble accepting that they are every thing that they are. But I’m so happy that I can say it in the past tense.
Well, dear diary, as much as I would like to keep talking, that’s all for today. I’m already late to go to bed, but I had to conﬁde all this to you, but since the real you isn’t here, I have to make do with this virtual version of you. But hopefully, it won’t be too long till your schedule gets a bit more relaxed and we can continue our conversations at greater lengths. So, ﬁnish it up quick! I’ve got so much to say.
Written by Aravind