Phobias are essentially part of every single human being. However brave a person might appear on the out, he’ll definitely have some fears hidden beneath the brave exterior. It might range from the mild kind or the extreme kind but it’s presence in some way or other is definite. Don’t we all remember the hunky Tobias Eaton aka four who had just four fears. It had me thinking like how cool would it be if only I had four fears like him. I have some forty fears that I can name now without even pausing to think, even more if I can give it a bit more thought! Scary thought right? Some fears, we can pinpoint and name but others we can only feel with a certain intensity which cannot be expressed into words. Fears differ alot. A brave guy who, on the out, is not afraid of anything at all might actually have mental fears, like fear of loosing his friends or fear of not meeting the expectations of others. There are some really funny phobias too.Once my roomie bought the entire 3 blocks of the hostel to our room with her scream.Everyone thought someone was murdering her, me included.Turns out she had seen a cockroach flying over her and thought it was gonna land on her. But hey I’m not judging her because although I’m not scared of cockroaches I certainly would have woken up, not just the hostel, but the entire city with my screams had it been a snake.
I have some really weird mental fears. Once I get attached to someone , they’ll mean everything to me and I’ll be willing to do anything for ’em. But I have this fear of getting attached to someone who doesn’t feel the same way about me. This has never happened so far but if it ever were to happen I’m sure it’ll leave me broken and hurt beyond repair. So I’m kinda guarded around people and only let certain people whom I’m sure wouldn’t hurt me, inside my bubble.This is not even something I do on purpose, it’s like a subconscious thing that I do. Another fear is the fear of loosing the people I love (I don’t wanna spook you out but yeah I meant death). I don’t wanna talk too much about it because I’m pretty sure you get the picture. So moving on to the next one, fear of not finding “the one”. I’m really old fashioned when it comes to the whole love thing and I can safely say that I have never been in love. I’m waiting for that perfect guy whom I’ll meet(hopefully) after 4-5 years. I got this dumb illusion that I’ll magically find him the moment I’m ready for it.. Like I said dumb! But I’m holding on to this dumb illusion for now till I find another alternative.The next fear of mine is something I should have outgrown by now but sadly I’m still stuck on it without any ways of escape. It’s a pretty common fear found in kids but for a 19 year old it’s definitely embarrassing.The fear is simple enough, I’m scared to address a public audience. Whenever I’m standing in front of a group of people, words fail me and I start to stumble.This also happens if my teachers ask me questions. I think some of my teachers know this and they bombard me with questions in order to help me overcome this fear but it hasn’t been of any help so far. So guys reading this blog, it would be super cool if you could suggest me some ways in which I could overcome this fear. And for the final fear I wanna share, fear of not being good enough. Whatever I do I feel that I’m not good enough. I think I may have self esteem issues and that may (stress on both the “mays”) have something to do with it. I always doubt myself, it’s like I write something and I need someone else to read it for me and unless I hear that person say it’s good enough, I don’t feel that it’s good enough. So even while I’m writing for the blog, I constantly show everything I have written so far to Joshua and I need to hear from him to carry on with it. I also constantly fear and worry that I’m not pretty enough or charming enough like the others.
I have given it a fair amount of thought and I have concluded that I don’t have any crippling fears that just freezes me from the inside or anything dramatic like that. That’s a comforting thought but still I have a lot of fears that I need to work on. You don’t have to compare your phobias with those of others around you. Because just like you your phobias are unique too(atleast that’s what I would like to think).And there’re stuff you can do to make your phobias a lil less bad,if not conquer it. Pushing and challenging yourself to the maximum that you can go will make you stronger and it’ll give a feeling that your phobias are all under control and that they’re not gonna break you. New phobias find their way into my body all the time but I take it as a challenge that I should capture and conquer and life is a whole lot colourful this way! So my advise to you people is that don’t shy away from your phobias instead embrace ’em and eventually win over ‘ em!!
Written by CHIRI